A Little Learning...
     
     Disclaimer: I lay no claim to the 'Cthulhu Mythos' or anything 
that comprises it. This is a non-profit story written for my own 
morbid enjoyment and that of anyone who wishes to read it. All 
original characters and situations are mine, and may you suffer 1d100 
Sanity Point loss if you steal them! 
     
     Warning: This is a horror story, and as such contains 
descriptions of acts and situations that may be considered disturbing 
or distasteful to some readers. It also contains scenes of violence 
and gore. Reader discretion is advised. The lesbian themes and 
inadequate descriptions of things that should be naturally 
incomprehensible can likewise be avoided as per the reader's taste.
     
     Author's Notes: I am not an expert on the Mythos, just a fan who 
was inspired by the books, films and games I have seen and played. 
You are free to disagree with this interpretation of the 
inconceivable beings and cosmic setup if it does not fit your own, 
but please remember that this is intended to be an enjoyable horror 
story, and that has been put before all other considerations.

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                         A Little Learning...

           - A 'Cthulhu Mythos' fiction by David R. King -
     
     
     Hanna did her best not to look around as the doctor led her down 
another hallway. The place was called a 'psychiatric hospital' now, 
but to her it still felt like the lunatic asylum it had originally 
been. The heavy stone walls were claustrophobic and imprisoning, yet 
scrubbed and whitewashed with modern thoroughness until clinically 
clean, devoid of any character and life they might still have held. 
     
     Anyone living there must have had no hope of recovery, she 
thought. It was the kind of place that, over time, would surely have 
driven her mad if she had been one of the patients.
     
     Then again, it seemed to have no effect on the smiling, confident 
doctors and nurses, and the patients seemed happy enough as they 
wandered the place. 'Those capable of happiness, that is,' she 
thought morbidly.
     
     Hanna forced herself to think about something else before she 
ended up picking out a bed there. Unfortunately there was only one 
other topic that really came to mind. "How is she?"
     
     The doctor, a tall, middle aged woman by the name of Carolyn 
Turner, gave her a gentle, motherly smile. "She is doing very well 
these days," the bespectacled woman replied. "Her nightmares are few 
and far between, and she remains alert and lucid. She asks after you 
often."
     
     Hanna sighed. "So... does that mean she can leave soon? What 
about the drugs?"
     
     Doctor Turner shook her head. "She is on minimal medication right 
now, just to help her sleep. We are also giving her something to help 
with her self control, but that is more for her own peace of mind 
than any worries about her behaviour." 
     
     "A placebo?"
     
     Doctor Turner nodded. "It is a crutch that we can wean her from 
in time. The only reason we want to keep her here is to make sure 
there is no possibility of a relapse. After such a fast recovery I'm 
sure we both want to be sure that she does not need to return here 
once she leaves, even if she makes for good company!"
     
     "Yeah." Hanna had to agree. The only thing worse than leaving 
Victoria in that place would be having the whole thing start all over 
again. Once had been bad enough.
     
     They finally reached their destination in the left wing of the 
huge building, and Doctor Turner's knuckles rapped twice on the hard 
wooden door. "Victoria, are you ready? Your visitor is here."
     
     The door opened and Hanna allowed herself to smile. "Hello 
Vicky."
     
     She didn't even have to force it. Victoria looked so much better 
than she had on her last visit, four months ago. Her hazel eyes were 
no longer circled by ugly rings of sleep deprivation and her rich 
brown hair now shone the way it was supposed to instead of lying flat 
and stressed. And Victoria was smiling. Not a manic grin of wild 
abandon or the twisted, fearful grimace that had seemed to plague her, 
but just a normal smile. Even the way she held herself seemed... It 
just seemed like the Victoria she remembered from two years ago.
     
     "Hi Hanna," Victoria said, stepping back and obviously hoping the 
pair would come in. "I'm glad you could make it."
     
     Hanna nodded and gave the young woman a hug. "So am I. You look 
good."
     
     Victoria's smile just broadened as she returned the embrace. "I 
feel good. You look better. I think you've lost some weight though!"
     
     Hanna just shook her head. Right now Vicky could be as bratty as 
she liked. That was what she was supposed to be like. "I'm on a diet. 
I ate too much junk food during my exams."
     
     Victoria seemed subdued by the mention of life outside, but she 
wanted to know all the same. "Did you pass?"
     
     "I don't know. We haven't got our results yet." Hanna poked her 
in the stomach with her finger, making her recoil with a laugh. 
"You're one to talk about losing weight. You were too skinny to start 
with!"
     
     Victoria just laughed and looked at Doctor Turner. "You can't 
blame me for that. Chef's food sucks, right Carolyn?"
     
     The psychiatrist just kept her diplomatic silence. "I'll let you 
two catch up properly."
     
     The pair nodded as she left. The click of the closing door 
sounded loud as Hanna and Victoria stared at each other, neither sure 
how best to proceed. 
     
     "She's just going to be outside," Victoria finally said, as if 
the information was somehow relevant. "You are doing okay, right? I 
mean, I hope I didn't screw anything up too badly. I actually don't 
remember it too well."
     
     Hanna shook her head. "No, the same as last time you asked. A few 
things replaced, lot of tears and some postponed coursework. Nothing 
permanent." She smiled. "The doctor says you're doing well though."
     
     Victoria cautiously mirrored that smile. "I think I am. I wish 
you'd write more, but I know you're busy. And I guess I wasn't in 
great shape last time, so I can't blame you."
     
     Hanna could see Victoria was warring with herself over something 
there, as if unable to swallow her worry but fearful of speaking it. 
However, the inner conflict was over before she could ask.
     
     "Have you... found someone else?"
     
     Hanna's knee jerk reaction was one of shock and denial. Of course 
she hadn't! What a stupid thing to ask! But then, in the last year 
many things could have happened, and many feelings could have changed. 
Some actually had. 
     
     "No. No, I haven't." She sat her girlfriend down on the bed and 
leaned down. The kiss lingered softly as their lips met, and Victoria 
mewled into the affectionate touch. As they parted Hanna could see 
tears glistening in her lover's eyes. "You were worried about that?"
     
     "Of course," Victoria retorted, her voice mixing relief and worry 
together until it was impossible to tell one from the other. "Why 
would you stick around for a woman who screams gibberish at night and 
snaps at the drop of a hat?"
     
     Hanna gathered Victoria in her arms to comfort her. "Because I 
want you back. I want you well so you can finish at college and we 
can go back to getting on with life."
     
     "It's called 'University'," Victory replied, showing her British 
origins despite her fading accent.
     
     "When in America..."
     
     Victoria obviously didn't care and leaned in for another, more 
passionate kiss. "I never meant to... I never wanted to hurt you. I 
never did."
     
     "I know," Hanna replied after the brief but intense display, and 
it just seemed to draw Victoria in further.
     
     "You're so beautiful," Victoria whispered, cupping Hanna's cheek, 
and soon they were peppering each other's lips with their own, making 
up for so much lost time. Hanna had not felt the embrace of another 
since she had lost Victoria to this place over a year ago, and she 
gave in to the warmth as they held each other. The feel of her 
delicate fingers, the smell of her hair, the taste of her tongue, it 
all came flooding back in that whirlwind of kisses and caresses.
     
     Then something broke the spell and Hanna realised where she was 
and what she was doing as she lay beneath Victoria, her shirt raised 
up and Victoria's fingers working their way into her underwear. It 
was far too much and far too fast. She wrestled up from where she now 
lay on the bed, forcing her own hands away from her lover's bosom. 
"W-wait, this isn't right..."
     
     Hanna grabbed Victoria's wrists and Victoria stopped dead, her 
eyes locked with Hanna's own in eager anticipation, and her breath 
ragged with desire. Then the next moment Victoria had wrenched 
herself from the bed and collapsed against the dresser by the wall, 
grabbing one of the clear pills from the bottle there and swallowing 
it dry. She steadied herself against the furniture as Hanna hurried 
to re-button her jeans, looking on worriedly. Victoria's breath 
gradually began to slow. "I didn't... I didn't want to hurt you. I'm 
so sorry!"
     
     Hanna got up and laid a tentative hand on Victoria's shoulder. 
"I'd better go Vicky. I'm staying in Arkham for a little while, so 
I'll... come and visit again soon. Maybe tomorrow even."
     
     Victoria nodded through her emerging tears. "I'd like that."
     
     Then the hand left her and Victoria clenched her eyes shut, 
wishing she could will away whatever it was inside her head that made 
her lose what she still perceived to be her own self-control. She 
didn't even trust herself to say goodbye without it turning into 
something that would only push Hanna further away. 
     
     She only looked back in time to see Hanna disappear. "I miss 
you!" she called, but the door had already closed behind her with 
that deafening click. Victoria just looked down at the bottle of 
pills in her hand. "I am getting better," she said, forcing herself 
to believe those words. "I am."
     
     She couldn't tell any more, not outside the fact that she no 
longer had so many nightmares. But if Hanna said it was true, then it 
must have been. If there was anyone she could trust, it was her.

***
     
     Hanna looked up at the sky, her head hanging over the back of the 
wooden bench in the hospital's front grounds. She paid no attention 
to the few patients that wandered the grassy garden. She was lost in 
the sound of her own thoughts and the lingering rush of her 
interrupted libido.
     
     'What were you thinking, Hanna? She could have done anything to 
you.
     
     'But she didn't. She's so much better now.
     
     'Something like that might push her back over the edge.
     
     'It wasn't just her. I wanted it too.
     
     'So you'd risk her sanity just to satisfy your own frustrations?
     
     'No. That's why I stopped.
     
     'And you saw what it did to her.
     
     'How much more guilt am I supposed to feel for that?
     
     'If you have to ask then it's not enough, is it?
     
     'Why do my inner monologues have to be so confrontational?
     
     'Because I still blame myself.
     
     'Why only shift into first person now?
     
     'Because that's what you do with realisations. You want to feel 
good about admitting it.
     
     'It's not like I didn't know that before. It can't be my fault, 
but I blame myself anyway. I don't even know if I really love her any 
more, but that just makes me feel worse. After all that pain and 
grief, and putting up with everything she did, I've wanted to walk 
away so many times...
     
     'But you didn't. 
     
     'I just don't have anywhere else to go.
     
     'No, you don't *want* anywhere else to go.
     
     'She still loves me.
     
     '...
     
     'I don't know why I love her any more, but God help me because I 
do.
     
     '... You know, for a linguist you *could* have more intelligible 
conversations with yourself.
     
     'I don't want my mind wandering, so stop it. Just enjoy feeling 
good. It's all turning out okay, isn't it?'
     
     It was only then, in that pleasant haze of thought, that Hanna 
realised she wasn't alone on the bench any more. She recoiled 
instinctively, a flash of worry passing through her mind about what 
kind of unstable person might have joined her.
     
     If she had expected anything, it hadn't been for that person to 
be wearing a habit. A surprisingly young woman in fact, probably only 
four or five years older than Hanna herself. She had thought all nuns 
these days were in their fifties, but this one couldn't have been 
older than thirty at the most.
     
     The nun smiled, having obviously been observing Hanna's inner 
conflicts. "I'm sorry if I alarmed you," she said in a surprisingly 
frank voice. "You looked as though you might have wanted someone to 
talk to, but it seems I made my assumption too soon."
     
     "Uh, thanks," Hanna said, hesitating and feeling rather off 
balance about the sudden company. "I was just... thinking."
     
     The nun nodded at the obvious remark, slightly amused but still 
understanding. "Yes, anyone who needs to come to this place would 
have troubled thoughts. I am glad to see that yours ended well 
though."
     
     Hanna sighed. She knew the woman meant well, but this was all 
just a bit too invasive for her liking. "I'm sorry, but I really 
don't want to talk about it, and even if I did you wouldn't 
understand anyway."
     
     The nun nodded, unhurt by the words. "I see. I apologise for 
intruding. Still," she said as she stood back up, "please do not 
think that my faith would make me closed minded, or judgemental. It 
is all a matter of perspective, as I have had to re-learn during my 
time here."
     
     Hanna frowned, suddenly confused. "You're not a nun? You're a 
patient?"
     
     The woman turned back to explain, seemingly unconcerned but 
Hanna's attitude. "No woman begins life as a nun, and I am no longer 
a patient here. However, this is the life I now lead, and even that 
does not make me immune to the 'human condition'."
     
     Hanna looked down, feeling slightly ashamed with herself. Even 
after rejecting her company this woman was still willing to talk 
about such personal things. "I'm sorry."
     
     "Don't be," the nun replied with a gentle smile. "We all have our 
problems, and I doubt we will ever truly overcome them. It is 
learning to live without giving in to them that makes us human. I 
doubt any religious words will ease your mind, but at the least I 
will say that it is our hardships that make us who we are. They make 
the rewards of life that much more precious."
     
     Hanna nodded. "Yeah. She's precious alright." Then she realised 
what she had let slip and looked up at her companion.
     
     To her surprise the nun just nodded. "And I am sure she thinks 
the same of you, if your smile was any indication." Seeing Hanna's 
face she let out a laugh. "Oh don't look so surprised. I doubt the 
Lord will smite you for the preferences he gave you, if my guess is 
right. I can think of far worse sins than an honest love, whatever 
your interpretation of His wishes."
     
     "Sister Mary," called a stern voice from the path, breaking into 
their conversation, "I do hope you are not condemning yet another 
soul to boredom with your idle chatter."
     
     They both looked over to see the stocky pastor, looking somewhat 
put out.
     
     "Don't mind him," Sister Mary said with a wink. "He has come to 
know me too well." Then her mood turned gentler again. "I had better 
be going, but remember that this is not the only place where people 
will listen if you find yourself with a need to talk."
     
     Hanna nodded, accepting despite herself. She knew that if she 
were to turn to someone a nun would not be first on her list, no 
matter how open minded. Still, it had been an eye-opening encounter, 
and she watched with a strange interest as the woman fell into line 
behind the pastor as they departed. She seemed to change as they 
walked, becoming more the kind of deferential, proper nun that Hanna 
had expected. 
     
     Idly she wondered why it was that Sister Mary had been a patient, 
but she didn't think about it too hard. She just wanted to get back 
to her hotel room, take a cold shower, and wonder how to apologise to 
Victoria about what had happened. 
     
***
     
     The hotel room was sparse but comfortable, Hanna had finally 
decided. At first she had been very unimpressed, but now that she had 
taken the time to relax there and clean herself up it had taken on a 
sort of homeliness, despite being so plain to the eyes. As she sat in 
front of the unvarnished dresser, clad only in her towel as she dried 
her sopping hair, she couldn't help but think that she was making 
poorly veiled analogies about herself. She wasn't the type to take 
too much interest in temporary surroundings, so when she did it was 
usually a bad sign.
     
     Thinking about Victoria had really started to get to her now. 
'The nun was right,' she thought, 'Vicky is still valuable to me, 
otherwise I wouldn't be here.'
     
     She wrapped her dark, shoulder length locks in the second towel 
and stared at her reflection in the aged mirror. 'Vicky really thinks 
I'm beautiful? Those must be some seriously rose tinted glasses she 
has. Or maybe she really it mad.' 
     
     Hanna shook that sarcastic thought from her head. Her 
girlfriend's sense of humour must have been a bad influence on her. 
She should be grateful that Victoria saw it, whatever it was she saw 
in Hanna's own dull, grey-blue eyes. At least her skin was in better 
shape now. Over a year without any reason to look good had kept the 
foundations and creams lost in the bottom of her vanity box at home, 
and if anything she felt that she looked better for it. Now that she 
had also weaned herself off the self-pitying beer and burgers every 
meal she was beginning to think that she looked fit for her 
girlfriend to come home to. She reached down to her stomach, feeling 
the looser skin there where she had lost that unsightly extra weight.
     
     "No more cheese and chocolate for you," she said to herself. She 
missed them terribly, but the fear of losing Victoria a second time 
because she had let herself go in her grief was a far, far worse 
prospect.
     
     She groaned and rested her chin on her hands as she stared at her 
own image. "This is stupid." She had been feeling better after 
returning from the hospital, but somehow she had driven herself back 
into that maudlin cloud that had accompanied her all the way to 
Arkham. Whatever had happened, this wasn't like her. She needed to 
find something to do. Sitting there alone and letting everything swim 
around in her head wasn't doing her any good.
     
     She put her foot down and threw her towels onto the bed, 
determined to find something worth doing in this weird excuse for a 
town. But, what was there to do in Arkham? It wasn't exactly a hive 
of activity; what little rough nightlife there was wouldn't begin to 
get going for another five hours, and she wasn't the type to check 
out all the creepy curio shops.
     
     There was Victoria's university though. Hanna paused as she 
pulled on her pullover, and heaved out a sigh. Why bother to fight it? 
She could at least see Vicky's tutor and see what she would have to 
do to get back on track, assuming the hospital could release her soon.

***
     
     Hanna had never really liked Arkham, but the Miskatonic 
University was the one exception. The large, spacious campus lacked 
the oppressiveness that pervaded the shadow-strewn streets, as if it 
was still moving forward while the rest of the town was lost in its 
own closeted past. There was no doubt that both the town and the 
university had had their share of unfortunate incidents over the 
years, but since first visiting the place Hanna had always felt that 
there was a certain depressed wistfulness hanging over everything 
except the university. As if the rest of the town actually mourned 
the loss of such unhappy times.
     
     The university on the other hand was always looking to the future. 
It was well renowned for its arts programs, and the medical students 
it shared with St. Mary's Teaching Hospital just down the road. It 
was always short of money, and filled with far too many enthusiastic 
teachers whose work came before their budgets, but it was those 
attitudes that made it so well worth enrolling. Both the building and 
the people there were quirky, but not as standoffish as the rest of 
Arhkam. At least not without good reason. 
     
     It was sad really that all Hanna's praise was in comparing the 
university to its town. It didn't do it justice. Victoria had done 
well in her medical and biology studies there, and she was not one 
who easily took to schooling.
     
     It was largely thanks to her main tutor that Victoria had scored 
as well as she had before she had lost her grip on reality. Even then 
Professor Walters had helped them both when given the chance, even 
though it had been beyond the call of duty. If anything he was too 
kind to his students and very lenient on tardiness to his lectures, 
but his reasoning was simple: he would teach those who wanted to 
learn, and fail those who didn't. He also seemed to have very little 
life outside the university grounds as far as Hanna had been told. 
What free time he got was usually spent with his students anyway, 
answering questions and debating at great length about their work.
     
     He looked every one of his forty seven years, with his greyed, 
wiry hair constantly escaping from under his hat. His short, rounded 
stature didn't do him any favours either, but his eyes were as bright 
and as sharp as they had always been. He only seemed to have the one 
waistcoat but he was never without it, and ratty as it was it seemed 
to suit him no matter what shirt and trousers he chose for the day. 
He had a surgeon's fingers, precise and not too stubby despite his 
portliness, but he had never actually got around practicing his craft. 
His research and bookish nature has always kept him distracted and 
out of the clutches of the St. Mary's staff, though they had tried to 
convert him more than once over the years.
     
     Hanna stopped short of his office when she got there though, 
watching from the corner as he and another young woman spoke.
     
     "It isn't the theory I am disputing Maria, it is the ethics of 
the thing. If nothing else you are proposing to stand on someone 
else's shoulders to get your grades, using his unpublished material 
at that, without going through the discovery process for yourself. 
How you even got hold of such notes is beyond me, let alone how you 
could put faith in such an absurd notion."
     
     Maria just smirked. "Dr. West is long dead professor, plagiarism 
isn't even an issue. I'm telling you, this is ground-breaking work. 
It's about taking a revolutionary theory and turning it on its head 
to make it work. If you think outside the box instead of following 
the logical but ultimately unusable medical assumptions, there's 
nothing to say it *can't* work."
     
     Hanna couldn't help but frown. Maria Geseris was one of 
Victoria's classmates, but calling her a friend would have been a 
long shot. Maria was an over-achiever, and what's more she both knew 
it and liked it. During the few times they had met, mainly because 
Victoria had belonged to the same university society as her, Hanna 
had taken an acute dislike to the arrogance that Maria had exuded. Of 
course she was devastatingly intelligent and probably made for 
excellent intellectual company, but Hanna had made it a point not to 
hang out with them when Maria was around, just because too long in 
the same room as the self-satisfied girl was enough to make her want 
to punch something.
     
     Professor Walters just looked at the girl. "There's nothing to 
say it *can* work either. You are a great student Maria, but you are 
reaching, and doing so with someone else's stick."
     
     Maria didn't seem bothered in the least. "I'll just have to make 
sure I know where to reach with it then. Unless you are denying me 
the chance to try."
     
     The professor sighed and shook his head. "If you are going to go 
through with it I can't stop you. But if you expect to pass at all I 
will want to see some serious work. All the theories, all the sources, 
every result of every experiment, and all within the rules."
     
     Maria's eyes lit up. "So I can have the lab?" 
     
     "Four-oh-six," the professor agreed, reluctantly holding up a 
pair of keys "Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, from eight until 
midnight." He looked at her carefully as she clutched them to her 
chest. "Maria, if even a single line gets crossed I won't be able to 
cover for you. They will be too busy hanging me from the same tree."
     
     "Trust me," Maria replied with a wink as she all but danced down 
the hallway, "it'll be so worth your while when you see what I've 
come up with!"
     
     The professor sighed as Hanna came out of hiding. "So much for 
student supervision. Oh, Miss Lockett, what can I do for you?"
     
     "What's with her?" Hanna had to ask. "It doesn't sound like you 
approve."
     
     Professor Walters shook his head. "I don't, but I know what she 
is like. She wants to see my face when she shows me this wonder-
theory. I'd rather not see her fail though. She could do very well 
for herself if only she stopped dreaming about achievement and 
actually applied herself to real medicine."
     
     Hanna nodded. She couldn't help feeling that the professor's own 
teachers had probably thought the same about him, but she kept that 
to herself. The idea that he was similar to that obnoxious girl 
wasn't something she wanted to voice, even if he didn't have the same 
view of her that she did. "So who's this 'West' she's stealing her 
ideas from?"
     
     Professor Walters huffed and turned back into his office, 
ushering her in. "Not someone you would want to hear about. A man 
whose brilliance was matched only by his ignorance. I doubt anyone 
knows what really happened, St. Mary's was quick to clean up the mess 
he made, but it is enough for me to know that his experimenting cost 
him his life. Anyway enough about that," he said, brightening 
considerably as he offered Hanna a seat. "How have you been my dear?"
     
     Hanna gave him a wan smile. "I've been better, but I can't 
complain. Vicky's actually looking like a real person again. That's 
why I came actually. I'm hoping they release her soon, so I thought 
I'd better see what I'd have to do to get her back in your classes."
     
     Professor Walters' broad smile said it all. "I'm glad to hear it. 
As far as I'm concerned she can re-start the second year whenever she 
likes. Just give me a call when the time comes and I'll make sure to 
have all the paperwork on hand. She will have to re-take one of the 
lab examinations, but I'm sure Doctor Sykes won't mind taking in one 
extra paper." He settled back in his chair, crossing his hands over 
his paunch. "Tell me, how is she coping these days?"
     
     Hanna just kept that wan smile. "I don't really know, but better. 
A lot better. Maybe better than me..."
     
***
     
     South Church was not a small building, and surrounded by old 
residential Americana it stood out like a sore, almost classically 
gothic thumb. The ornate carvings, vaulted windows and flying 
buttresses gave it a strangely intimidating presence, as if it were 
trying to play the role of cathedral and making up for its lack of 
standing with promises of fire and brimstone. 
     
     Sister Mary Liten forced herself to turn away from her dormitory 
window, and smiled at the thought. In that way at least pastor 
Matthews was the perfect man to lead the ceremonies there. Smaller 
than he would like to be, but very imposing, and never straying from 
the angry word of God. 
     
     Mary knew the truth though. Both her church and her priest 
covered themselves in bluster and attitude only for the sake of 
keeping the flock faithful. It was a shame that society was so quick 
to forget good teachings because there was no threat to 'enforce' 
them. Pastor Matthews gave them that threat, so he kept his 
congregation, but Mary was not fooled. He was a man considerate to a 
fault, and more than worthy of his position and his cassock. After 
all, he kept her and the other sisters well even though he didn't 
really need so much extra help.
     
     Sister Mary couldn't help but feel guilty for that. She had 
surely been more effort than the other three sisters combined, but 
the fact that she was still there in her dormitory was proof that 
love for your fellow man, and indeed fellow woman, was not limited by 
convenience. It was just one more lesson that had been reinforced the 
hard way. 
     
     Such lessons had happened many times since she had first taken 
shelter under the cloth. Had anyone asked her about becoming a nun 
even six months before she joined she would have laughed for a very 
long time, but that had been six years ago. She had worn the black 
gown and wimple for five of those years now, so long that it actually 
felt natural.
     
     It wasn't something she could sleep in though. She stood from her 
desk and closed her wardrobe door, not wanting to see herself in the 
mirror as she changed for bed. It was in irrational quirk, but there 
was something about seeing a nun naked that didn't sit well with her, 
even if that nun was herself. She also turned to the window, ready to 
close the curtain without even thinking about it, but her eyes locked 
onto the house that their dorm backed against. She stared at it for a 
moment, trying to force herself to look away. It was an old place, 
and it had seen better days, but they had dug their own simple but 
large swimming pool in their garden, which took up most of the space 
out there. She had used to like watching the owners swim during the 
summer. It was the upstairs window that held her gaze now though. 
     
     No doubt they didn't realise that their curtains were not as 
thick as they could have been, and when the bright light cast its 
silhouettes through them Mary could not help but watch and worry. A 
concern that had almost consumed her once. These late night parties 
were loud, loud enough to hear the shouts and cries since their 
properties backed onto one another, but there never seemed to be any 
music. And the shadows that played across the curtain acted... 
chaotically.  
     
     She closed her eyes and shook her head, marching to the corner of 
her room and undressing herself as hurriedly as she could. She should 
not have been thinking such things, especially about members of her 
priest's congregation. There was nothing to suspect, and suspicion 
was just a part of her imagination rebelling against the life she had 
taken up. Many people held parties at night, she had done so in her 
earlier years, and she had behaved abominably at times. This was none 
of her business, and she had shamed herself and Father Matthews 
enough already over it.
     
     She took her time folding her robes, steadying her nerves as she 
did, and made to hang them over her chair. 
     
     But her chair was on the other side of her room, bathed in the 
moonlight coming through the window that she didn't dare approach 
again tonight, least of all when naked. She felt an involuntary 
shiver run through her and just laid her clothing down by the side of 
her bed. Then she slipped beneath her well laid sheets, trying to rid 
herself of every thought that she could. She knew rationally that 
there was nothing to think about at all, her time with the good 
doctors had proved that, but now that the notion had appeared every 
thought lead to same worrisome place. 
     
     It just had to happen again now. She would get over it, she knew, 
but she found that sleep was a long time in coming that night. 
     
     
***
     
     Upon the seashore, lost in her deepest dreams, Victoria danced. 
Her body and mind burned with energy so strong that it would surely 
have consumed her if she had stopped even for a moment. She felt 
alive and free, joyful simply because she existed in that moment. The 
beat of the drums and the licking of the flames spurred her on, and 
she let out a cry of exultation. She was *alive*, releasing every 
ounce of energy within her and still her body moved, as if with a 
mind of its own. She never wanted to stop. She would dance and sing 
and love and hate and cry with both anguish and joy, until her body 
could take no more.
     
     She knew this was a nightmare. It was the ecstasy that made it 
terrifying. 
     
     Many others danced with her, all lost in their own joyful release. 
It was an orgy of kinetic hedonism. Everyone that could move danced, 
and everyone that could not lay in rapture, ravished by whatever man, 
woman or creature had the desire. 
     
     As always, not all the revellers were human. The bulbous-eyed, 
piscine men and women danced with them, their watery worshipping long 
forgotten in the rush of the Dance. Victoria had no idea whether 
their joy was anything like hers, but neither race of beings made any 
differentiation between each other now. They danced together, raged 
together and loved together, the sand writhing as their numbers 
seemed to grow and the drums seemed to beat faster.
     
     Victoria could no longer tell whether it was the drums or just 
the pounding of her own heartbeat in her ears. Her breath was fast 
and ragged, almost painful as she sang out into the night sky. 
Neither she nor any of the others cared who or what might have heard 
them. The guttural screeching that replied from the vast silhouettes 
above caused them no fear. It just made Victoria sing louder.
     
     Nobody cared for their safety as these Star Spawned giants danced 
upon the same shores. Those trampled under the feet of the huge, 
winged things simply lay where they fell, their blood colouring the 
sand a wonderful, deep red. Victoria could feel the stickiness 
between her toes as she danced, but she felt no revulsion or remorse. 
Such things were for the sane, waking world. She just danced and sang 
and cried out until, at some unknowable signal from within herself, 
her knees gave out and she fell to the bloody sand, writhing as the 
feet of her fellow dancers fell around her.
     
     She crawled towards the fire, basking in the warmth and feeling 
her energy return. Several of the men and fish-men dashed back from 
the dance, another trampled body slung between them. Around the fire 
everyone called out with a, 'One, Two, Three!' as the grinning 
quartet slung the corpse onto the rails across the bonfire. Across 
from them another pair drove their spears into the side of the one 
already there, hauling it off and into the hungry mass. Victoria 
joined the scramble for the feast as a man, human and built like a 
brick wall, cleaned and jointed the grisly barbecue before slinging 
the meat for them to catch.
     
     Victoria collided with something cold and slick as she lunged for 
her piece, and both she and the fish-woman fell together, wrapped 
around the food. The fish woman snarled, baring her tiny, pointed 
teeth when Victoria took the bone for herself, but violence was best 
left to those who enjoyed it. Victoria lay down atop the thin but pot 
bellied Deep One and their lips met around the flavourful meat she 
held in her teeth.
     
     It was then that she glanced over to what remained of their meal, 
just the head and backbone left for the crabs on the bloodied sand. 
Hanna had been able to make it to the dance after all.
     
     That was when she should have woken up, but Victoria knew that 
would not happen. The night was yet young, and she would be forced to 
enjoy so much more before she would be allowed to scream herself 
awake.
     
***
     
     Hanna had approached the hospital in high spirits. Both the 
talkative nun and Professor Walters had been very reassuring the day 
before, and even a restless night had not managed to sour her mood 
much. It must have been the humidity, she thought, because the 
bedcovers had found their way to and from her hotel room floor more 
times than she remembered. 
     
     However, the longer she waited in the hospital reception the more 
those high spirits began to seep away. The bench was hard against her 
back and the sounds of shuffling feet were magnified as they bounced 
around the open room. She looked up to the clock on the wall again, 
wondering what was keeping Dr Turner. It had been a full twenty 
minutes since the man at the desk had paged her. It wasn't as though 
she was in a hurry, but the longer she sat there the more licence her 
imagination took for itself. Hanna wasn't the most creative person on 
the planet by any means, but even she could end up picturing the 
various repercussions that her last visit might have had. Ones that 
could well be keeping her in the dark now that she had returned.
     
     Sadly, that wasn't far from the truth. The clock had reached half 
past eleven by the time anyone appeared to see her, but it wasn't Dr 
Turner. Instead the wild squeaking of running feet found her ears, 
and she turned to see Victoria career out into the reception, moving 
so fast that she could not stop herself from flying right over the 
desk and into the startled receptionist. The cries of the pursuing 
nurses and attendants followed the young woman's inadvertent assault 
on the reception desk, calling to restrain her, but by that time 
Victoria had already found her feet. "Hanna!"
     
     Hanna just stared in shock as Victoria bowled into her, knocking 
them both onto the bench as Vicky wept into Hanna's shirt with relief. 
"You're alive!" Victoria bawled, "God Hanna, I thought they'd got you. 
I thought I'd never see you again!"
     
     The realisation was slow to dawn in Hanna's numb brain, but the 
tears were already sliding down her face as Victoria clutched at her. 
This wasn't the Victoria she had seen yesterday, but one of the many 
shadows of herself her girlfriend had become so long ago. A Victoria 
driven by some unknowable despair or paranoia or rage. What had 
triggered this? Was it because she had turned up again after so long? 
Was it because she had not made love to her, or because she had 
allowed their passions to go as far as they had the day before? Was 
she herself the focus of some kind of emotional knot that her 
girlfriend had kept down within herself and left to fester? Surely, 
the only thing that had changed to warrant Victoria's madness was her 
own presence in Vicky's life again.
     
     Seeing her tears Victoria seemed to calm a little, and then her 
hands began to roam, checking her girlfriend for some sort of injury 
that might have caused them. "Hanna, what's wrong? What have they 
done to you?"
     
     Hanna wanted to scream. 'What have they done to *you*!? What have 
*I* done to you? Why now? Why couldn't you just get better!?'
     
     The moment seemed to drag out for an age before the nurses 
finally reached them and hauled Victoria from her lover's arms. 
"Wha..? No!! Get off me you bastards! Hanna, the stars are coming 
right! You have to run! This is a cursed place! He can see us here! 
His dreams can reach us anywhere!" She tried to wrestle from the 
nurses' grip, bringing her knee up violently between one poor man's 
legs and sending him cringing to the floor, clutching his abused 
testicles.
     
     "Let me go, you don't understand!" Victoria continued to rant as 
Hanna could only look on helplessly, "The city will rise from its 
watery grave! The Dead Cthulhu will wake! It is nearly time!"
     
     Hanna felt a hand on her shoulder as Victoria was taken away, and 
looked up to see Dr Turner. "Why?" she whispered through her tears. 
"Why now?"
     
     Carolyn shook her head. "I sincerely doubt it is because of your 
visit," she replied, trying to sound comforting despite her own 
sadness over Victoria's apparent re-lapse. "A particularly unpleasant 
nightmare seems to have been the trigger, but given a few hours, and 
something to calm her, she should be feeling better. Her last bouts 
of this mania, a few months ago, did not last long." 
     
     Hanna just nodded, looking at the pristine, white floor. "She 
isn't going to be released now, is she..?"
     
     Dr. Turner sighed. "I can't do that in good conscience, no. You 
saw how badly she kicked that orderly in trying to get free."
     
     Hanna nodded again, feeling the tears roll down their assigned 
paths. "... Can I see her again, when she calms down?"
     
     "I have a session with her this afternoon, and she has said on 
more than one occasion that she would like you there for them," 
Carolyn replied. "It breaks the normal procedure, but given the 
situation it might help her recovery. The question is just whether 
you want to hear us talking about her dreams and fears. They can get 
rather personal and unpleasant."
     
     Hanna just stared at the blank floor. "It can't be anything worse 
that I heard at the beginning," she said, thinking back to the things 
Victoria had accused her of before she had been committed. Everything 
from being an amoral freak to being the bastard spawn of some great 
devil, sent to condemn her.
     
     Dr Turner seemed to understand the sentiment, but that wasn't the 
point she was making. "But do you *want* to be hearing those things 
again?"
     
     Hanna glared up into the doctor's eyes. "Of course not! But..." 
she said, her speech faltering, "I want to see her again, like I did 
yesterday. I don't care what crazy things she'll say. Maybe if I 
understand it more... I might be able to deal with it better. I just 
want to see her happy again."

***
     
     Hanna walked in a daze after that. She barely registered where 
she was as she travelled the Arkham streets, unable to think clearly 
about anything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. First 
her girlfriend was almost in the clear, and in the space of a day 
that happy notion had been dashed away, as if her first visit had 
been nothing more than a dream. She found herself standing outside 
shop after shop, staring at the trinkets, dresses and even the 
tattoos that were offered, but not seeing them. Retail therapy had 
its limits, and right then she would not even have known what she was 
buying.
     
     But what else could she do? She had been promised some sort of 
explanation, if only in the form of Victoria's fears spoken aloud, 
but it was hours away. She couldn't stay at the old asylum. Being so 
close to Victoria but denied her presence would have driven her to 
tears again, even though her girlfriend's delusions would no doubt do 
the same. She also had to eat eventually, but she barely tasted it 
when she finally had lunch at the diner in the northern half of town. 
An hour on and she couldn't even remember what it was she had ordered, 
but it had filled her well enough.
     
     The worst of it was that she wasn't all that surprised with the 
way things had ended up. This was the status quo now, and who was she 
to expect it to change? 
     
     It wasn't as though she had anywhere to go either, now that she 
was in town. Professor Walters would be in classes, her parents were 
a continent away, and the friends she would have had in Arkham were 
all Victoria's, not hers. 'Several of them must have graduated by now 
anyway,' she thought, feeling morose at the idea and wondering 
whether any of them had visited Victoria before they left. She could 
have gone to see the nun, but counsel wasn't what she wanted right 
then. She wanted a shoulder to cry herself out on, and to be put to 
bed when she had exhausted herself. It was that or just keep holding 
the frustration in until something made sense again.

***
     
     If the session had been one hour later Hanna would have cracked 
and gone to see the nun after all, but four o' clock finally arrived 
and she was admitted into Dr Turner's room. The doctor looked 
professional and caring as always, but Hanna could see the lines of 
tension around her eyes, and her hair was not quite was well kept as 
it had been that morning. 
     
     And Victoria...
     
     She looked positively hollow. The leather chair would have 
threatened to consume her if she sat curled any further into herself. 
It was almost as if she didn't dare to look as Hanna entered, for 
fear of being struck down where she sat. Her eyes looked raw and red, 
and her clothes seemed to hang from her at odd angles, as if worn by 
a doll, but even if she was uncomfortable she made no move to fix 
them.
     
     "Have a seat Hanna," Dr Turner said, offering her the other 
leather chair. "I'm glad you could come."
     
     Victoria looked timidly across as she sat down. "I'm sorry Hanna. 
I didn't want to make you cry."
     
     The small, desolate voice pulled at Hanna's heart. No matter how 
confused she was her emotions knew what they wanted. "It's okay. I'll 
live. I've cried before."
     
     The joke didn't bring a smile to Victoria's face though. Instead 
she just looked back down at the floor, waiting for Dr Turner to 
start. After all, she knew what was coming.
     
     Instead of speaking however, the doctor lifted a small, old 
fashioned tape recorder from her desk drawer and placed it on the 
table. "I am not an advocate of alternative practices," she said 
seriously, "but with cases such as Victoria's we have found 
hypnotherapy an unusually effective treatment."
     
     "Cases such as hers?" Hanna parroted. She had not thought that 
Victoria's elaborate manias were something a psychiatrist would see 
very often.
     
     Carolyn nodded. "While unusual her symptoms are not unique. In 
fact when they do occur they seem to have many aspects in common. 
Victoria and I had a short session before you arrived," she said, 
tapping the tape recorder, "in which I asked her to describe her 
latest nightmare. It contains many of those shared images. Victoria, 
why don't you tell her why you want her to hear it."
     
     "Because..." Victoria halted. "Because I'm afraid to tell you 
myself."
     
     Dr. Turner pressed play on the machine. "You can tell me to 
switch it off at any time, either of you."
     
     Hanna had heard hypnosis tapes before, on TV shows of course, but 
hearing one for real was something else entirely. Victoria sounded so 
normal, but somehow dulled, as if she was narrating a science project. 
The details were graphic and disturbing, but spoken with such 
detachment that it didn't scare Hanna at all. After a few minutes 
however Victoria's voice started to sound urgent, as she described 
how she had revelled in cannibalising her lover as she and the fish-
woman had made love. 
     
     "Why are you eating her?" Carolyn's voice asked.
     
     "Because I love her. I want to become one with her."
     
     The surprise in Carolyn's voice reflected what Hanna was feeling, 
listening to the nauseating tale. "But you are having sex with this 
'Deep One'."
     
     "Hanna is dead, but I can still become one with her. The Deep One 
wants Hanna too. We can both have her. We can have each other. We can 
have everything."
     
     "Do you love the 'Deep One' too?"
     
     "Yes. No. I don't, but I can't help it," Victoria's voice came, 
more urgently than before. "My body is so hot I have to move."
     
     "How does this make you feel, emotionally?"
     
     Victoria sounded like she was on the verge of panicking now. "The 
me on the beach is in love with everything. She wants to enjoy the 
world. The me in my head is scared. She wants to wake up! But she 
can't!"
     
     It was then that Carolyn stopped the tape. "Why couldn't you tell 
me any of this before? You knew I would ask when you agreed to the 
hypnotherapy again."
     
     Victoria just stared at Hanna, their waterlogged eyes locked 
together. "Because I want to get better. I do. But I can't tell you. 
People can't know! They'll only make everything worse!"
     
     "You're talking about the conspiracy with your old college 
society," Carolyn observed. 
     
     Victoria didn't reply, but the doctor knew she was right. "You do 
understand that this conspiracy can't possibly exist, don't you 
Victoria? A discovery as incredible as your giant demon would have 
been found by now, even if you and your university friends were 
trying to save mankind from itself."
     
     "That's why we're safe," Victoria replied, "But they don't 
understand. It's not enough. It never will be. Dead Cthulhu doesn't 
need books to rise again. He has the stars and his Spawn and his 
dreams! If someone doesn't tell them they can only be drawn in. Just 
like me."
     
     "I think we had better call it a day," Carolyn said, pinching the 
bridge of her nose. She knew that it would probably take a few more 
days for Victoria to shake free of her intricate fantasies if she was 
still talking so freely about them in session. It was when she began 
to doubt them that she grew quiet, and Carolyn could work with her 
properly again. 
     
     "Harmon knows!" Victoria continued, ignoring her doctor's call 
for an end to the session. "He knows about the Dead Cthulhu!"
     
     Dr Turner smiled sympathetically as she stood and got Victoria to 
her feet. "Mr Harmon only began to say that name when you arrived," 
she said gently. "And he will be here long after you leave."
     
     "But...But..." Victoria stammered, her eyes losing focus as she 
began warring with her convictions again. "But you understand, don't 
you?" She turned to Hanna as her doctor ushered her towards the door. 
"You understand, right Hanna? You have to leave it alone."
     
     Hanna just watched sadly as Victoria contradicted herself. Why 
tell her all this if she was just supposed to act as though it hadn't 
happened. "I understand Vicky," she lied, if only to spare Victoria's 
feelings.
     
     "Wait!" Victoria suddenly said, pulling away from Carolyn's 
guiding hand. "Hanna."
     
     It seemed so sudden when Victoria wrapped Hanna in her arms, but 
Hanna would have been swept away by it regardless. She returned the 
hug with all her strength, as if willing the crazy dreams out of her 
girlfriend.
     
     "I love you so much," Victoria whispered. "You have to believe 
that."
     
     "I... I love you too Vicky."
     
     Victoria pulled away, her eyes misty again. "Can I kiss you?"
     
     Hanna replied by pressing her lips against Victoria, and the pair 
stood in that close embrace with no care in the world as to who might 
have been passing. Whatever the distance that had opened between them, 
that kiss was what kept the bridge from collapsing altogether.
     
     After the orderlies had taken Victoria back to her room Dr Turner 
walked Hanna back to the reception. "I'm sorry you had to hear all 
that, but I think it will be easier on Victoria now, having you to 
anchor her away from her dreams."
     
     Hanna just walked. "I think I heard what I needed to. Actually, I 
didn't realise how broad it all was, thinking that there's some sort 
of conspiracy going on. A benevolent one at that. The Miskatonic 
Society is going to have something to answer for if they helped cause 
this to her."
     
     "It isn't uncommon for a patient to work significant aspects of 
her life into her fantasies," Carolyn said. "I have spoken with some 
of the members at the college personally, but they are just a book 
keeping club. They don't even have the obligatory, morally dubious 
initiation ceremony, unlike the swim team."
     
     Hanna sighed. Another target for the blame would have been nice 
right then. She just prayed she wouldn't have any dreams when night 
came, because the images she had heard on the tape were not ones she 
wanted to see for herself.

***
     
     Even shaken as she was by what she had heard, Hanna seemed to 
have more direction that evening. Her wanderings around the town had 
a purpose; aware and resolute. There was far too much going on in her 
head to allow her to rest, and too many conflicting emotions to allow 
her to wallow in self-pity or feel contented that a real and clear 
remnant of her girlfriend could still be stirred inside Victoria. But 
she had soon known what to do to remedy all her current ills, and 
guarantee herself a full, if restless, night's sleep.
     
     She was going to get blind, stinking drunk. 
     
     It was a temporary solution she knew, but it would work, and she 
could see about dealing with what would happen next while nursing her 
hangover. The plan had only one drawback: none of the real bars 
opened until after the dinner rush, so after a long, circular walk 
looking for one she ended up having to settle for the diner that was 
only ten minutes from the hospital.
     
     It wasn't a bad place by any means, but along with the alluring 
smell of greasy food it was something of a relic from the fifties, 
with large glass frontages that did little for someone wanting time 
to herself. After the first few shady characters, one looking for a 
date and the other selling the most bizarre collections of junk, 
Hanna suspected it was only a matter of time before she got some 
company that would decide to stay. 
     
     "You really should have something to eat if you plan on drinking 
this early." 
     
     Strangely, that company turned out to be the nun.
     
     Hanna stared up at her, slack-jawed with the combination of 
surprise and her third pint of beer. "You?" When she realised that 
she wasn't seeing things she looked back down to her drink. "Thanks 
for the concern, but I don't think I'll be eating again for a while."
     
     Sister Mary's face grew concerned. "I see. Would you mind if I 
joined you?"
     
     Hanna allowed herself a dry laugh. "I can't stop you, but you do 
stick out in here you know."
     
     She was right. With the overweight truckers on their stools at 
the counter, and the leather and jean clad types eating at their 
tables, Mary's stark, black and white presence might well have been 
from another world entirely. Mary only gave them a cursory glance 
though, reasoning that they weren't too likely to take offence unless 
she decided to offend them personally.
     
     "What happened?"
     
     Hanna just looked at her, her features actively blank. "Look 
sister... Mary, was it? Do you want to lose your appetite as well?"
     
     Mary just returned the gaze, unshaken by the tone in Hanna's 
voice. "Not particularly, but I like to think that my company is 
better than that of a bottle."
     
     Hanna blinked, not making the connection, before she threw back 
the last of her pint and called out for another one from the waitress. 
"Alright then, virgin Mary, let's trade. My story, in all it's gory 
detail, for yours. Why did you get sent to the head-shrinkers?"
     
     Mary's gaze didn't waver in the slightest. "Okay. But before I 
begin, I haven't even asked your name yet."
     
     "It's Hanna." 
     
     "Very well Hanna," Mary said, nodding. "My story is simple to 
explain. I let my beliefs cloud my judgement."
     
     Hanna chuckled a little cruelly at that. "Religion has a habit of 
doing that, eh?"
     
     Mary just smiled at the poor joke. "On occasion. I joined the 
church when I was a few years younger than you, most likely. The 
details are complicated, but it was a sanctuary for me, more than a 
calling. I had to learn my religion almost from the beginning. In 
many ways that was a blessing. Being a nun is a matter of genuine 
faith for me, and not just a routine that I have found myself 
following after years of constant repetition."
     
     "Unfortunately," she continued, her voice turning low, "it also 
seems to have made me susceptible to overzealousness, now that I do 
believe. I turned that misplaced zeal against a member of our 
congregation and his family, based on presumption and supposition 
that could not possibly be true, now that I look at it in a clear 
light. I accused them of things that I should not have, and even went 
so far as to try breaking into their house. I was so convinced that 
what I was doing was right, and that my suspicions could be nothing 
but the truth."
     
     "That sounds like Vicky," Hanna said quietly into her drink, but 
not so quietly as to hide it from her companion.
     
     "Perhaps she and I are somewhat alike in that respect," Mary 
replied kindly. "I may still have these fears, but at least now I can 
see them for what they are."
     
     Hanna just stared at her, her drink-fuelled attitude mollified by 
the honestly told tale. There was too much in it that she could 
connect to, and it both saddened her, reflecting her own memories, 
and gave her some hope that Victoria might make the same kind of 
recovery that Mary obviously had.
     
     "Vicky started to go weird a couple of years ago," Hanna finally 
replied, beginning her own morbid tale. "Nightmares she said, and 
they really screwed her up. I did my best to help her, but we were 
going to different colleges by then. She was here, and I stayed in 
New York." She let out a small, involuntary chuckle there. "We were 
both studying there when we met. Probably five years ago now. Five 
and a half maybe. We moved in together when I graduated, then she 
moved out when she did the same the next year, and she came up here. 
She bitched so much that I didn't drop out to come up with her.
     
     "Still, the drive isn't that bad, but that's when her nightmares 
started. It started slowly at first, but she got more paranoid, and 
started getting violent for no reason, or breaking down because she 
suddenly got scared. I came up whenever I could, but... one day she 
went too far, I called the college, and we had her chucked in the 
loony bin."
     
     "Surely the university staff must have noticed something?" Mary 
asked, amazed that it could have gone on with only Hanna to take any 
action.
     
     "Professor Walters helped a lot, but apparently he's all for 
giving his students freedoms. If she had a bad day she just wouldn't 
turn up. Heh, if only he knew." Hanna said with a mirthless laugh.
     
     Mary's gaze turned quizzical. "Knew what?"
     
     Hanna just shook her head. "Vicky's convinced she was part of 
some sort of conspiracy in her college society. Some book group 
trying to hide the 'truth' to protect everyone. That would make 
Professor Walters one of her accomplices, and all this would be their 
fault."
     
     Mary nodded, but there was an unusual seriousness in her eyes. 
"Sometimes there is a little truth in the craziest fantasies. Maybe 
it wasn't their fault, but a book can affect a person's life even if 
it is just words on a page. If those words have meaning, it is more 
than possible. This book allowed me to start my life over again," she 
said, pulling the tome from her robes. A small, beautifully bound 
bible in black leather.
     
     Hanna stared at it for a moment before the idea sank in. "Maybe I 
should talk to Professor Walters again. If that is what started 
giving her those nightmares..." Hanna swallowed hard and took another 
gulp from her drink. "Well, the reason I'd rather not eat? I heard 
her talk about her latest dream, on tape. Apparently she enjoyed it, 
aside from being desperate to wake up throughout the whole thing. 
Then again, the blood, the mermaid orgy, chucking my trampled body on 
the barbecue for a midnight feast..."
     
     Hanna could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "She ate me - 
and while she was fucking some fish-person too. That's so fucked up. 
And she made it sound like it was... That she ate me because she 
loved me, and for a moment it actually sounded like that made some 
fucking sense!"
     
     Mary paused at hearing the unpleasant story, and moved around to 
sit by her companion, putting a comforting arm around her. "Have you 
ever taken communion Hanna?"
     
     "When I was a kid, sure," Hanna replied, her eyes watery but no 
longer threatening to spill over.
     
     To Hanna's surprise Sister Mary seemed calmed by the admission. 
"Then maybe you know how she feels. There is something indescribable 
about communion for me, in what it symbolises and how I feel to 
accept it, but I am never scared by the more explicit implications of 
worshipping Christ that way."
     
     She sighed, not wanting to get too deeply into the issue, 
especially since she could only give what amounted to armchair wisdom. 
Hanna was better educated than she was after all. "Just remember that 
dreams mean something, but the meaning often isn't the most obvious 
thing that you see." 
     
     Hanna just sat there, soaking in the idea. It seemed to make some 
sense, but her alcohol-fuzzed head was unwilling to make the picture 
as clear as it should have been. "I... I understand, I think." She 
let out a heavy sigh and wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her 
pullover. "I guess I'd better go. I don't feel like drinking any 
more." 
     
     She got up and Mary did the same to let her out. "Hey," Hanna 
added as she made her way to the door, "thanks Sister. That really 
did help after all."
     
     Mary just smiled and nodded. "I'm glad." 

***
     
     It was the following morning that Hanna sat across from her 
girlfriend's professor in his study. She truly liked the man, but had 
all his help over these two difficult years been out of more than 
simple kindness? She had suggested that maybe, just maybe, Victoria 
had found something in one of the books their small society read and 
organised. Even when she had woken, Sister Mary's words had still 
rung somewhat true. A children's book could give nightmares with its 
tales of trolls and cannibalistic giants, no matter how much of a 
fairy tale it was. A bible could draw someone to God, whether the new 
believer was a penniless working man or one with more material 
comfort than he knew what to do with.
     
     Hanna had expected her scholarly friend just to shake his head, 
or perhaps even laugh off the possibility. However, the gravity that 
seemed to fall upon him was almost tangible. Could some of his help, 
his kindness, have been born out of guilt?
     
     "Hanna," he intoned with a solemn air, "if anything that she did 
with us did somehow contribute to her condition, then there is no way 
I would be able to make it up to you. However, I would never have 
done anything to hurt her. You know that."
     
     Hanna nodded, a little cowed by the unexpected intensity in his 
voice. "I know, but even if you didn't mean to..."
     
     Walters let out a heavy sigh. "Hanna, the best you can do now, 
that any of us can do, is to care for her. She is a girl with a lot 
of promise, and I will do anything I can to help her see that through. 
If she does associate us with her condition though, surely trying to 
dig up what caused it will only lead her further from us."
     
     "I just..." Hanna replied, her voice halting. "I just want to see 
the book. I have to know for sure. If I can understand her delusions 
better then maybe I can help show her that's all they are."
     
     She could see that Walters knew he was cornered now. No matter 
what he said or did, he would have to admit his culpability. "All 
right," he finally said. "I will show you. But we would not have 
given it to her if we had thought it could have had such an effect on 
her imagination."
     
     That admission shocked Hanna into silence, even as the Professor 
rose from his seat and began to lead her to the library. As they 
walked Hanna tried to sort some of this madness out in her head. This 
society really had been the cause, or had at least contributed to 
Victoria's insanities. Professor Walters knew it. But she also knew 
him as a person. He would never have done it to harm her. Victoria 
had always had a sensitive, artistic side: a creativity that she 
rarely used, but that had made academia difficult for her. Had she 
finally found an outlet for it in studying this book?
     
     "Professor, why? Why tell me all this now? Why hide it for so 
long?"
     
     Walters didn't turn back as he answered. "Because I don't want to 
hurt you or Victoria. I was horrified by what happened to her, and to 
you as a result. I didn't think it could happen to her. I don't want 
to think it can happen to you either, but given your situation I 
don't want you to read too deeply into it."
     
     "But I know what it is," Hanna replied. 
     
     Walters tried not to respond, but found a small, sad smile upon 
his face. "I always liked a book that could make me cry, even if I 
had read it before."
     
     When they finally reached the library Walters lead her to a 
secluded reading alcove and fetched the book in question. Hanna 
noticed that it wasn't even on display, but that he had to go into 
the room at the back to fetch it. That was the area for speciality 
books, only open to the staff and students who specifically needed 
them for their courses. 
     
     When he returned he also had a student in tow. The young man was 
called Alex if Hanna remembered correctly, another of Victoria's old 
society friends. However, she was more interested in the 'book' that 
Walters lay in front of her. It was a simple thing, far thinner than 
she had expected. The cover was blank, with no indication of what 
might be inside other than the name of the author, one Dr Laban 
Shrewsbury. 
     
     Above her the Professor gave Alex a look, to which the young man 
nodded before being left to supervise Hanna. Just to make sure she 
didn't get too absorbed in the scratchy, hand-written notes. Hanna 
was surprised at the poor quality of the text, and at the thin, 
weathered paper under the cover. "It's old," she said, stating the 
obvious.
     
     Alex nodded. "Victoria re-bound it herself. We're all sorry about 
what happened to her. I've been to visit, but she doesn't seem to 
want to see me."
     
     Hanna blew the air out of her lungs, beginning to read. "She 
seems to have changed her tune since then." 
     
     The conversation didn't last long, replaced instead by the rustle 
of turning pages. Hanna felt like she had to be careful not to 
accidentally tear the thing as she skimmed over it. It was written 
not as a dialogue or a narrative, but as a free flowing of thoughts 
onto the page, no doubt to become a book further down the line if the 
author had ever finished it. The ideas and warnings came jumbled and 
out of any real order, detailing the supposed cult he was warning of 
- this cult of the drowned god Cthulhu. Then the next page would be 
taken over by all but hysterical scribbles and hand drawn diagrams of 
dreams and nightmares that were given to the 'children of man' as the 
Great Beast dreamed them.
     
     Hanna could also see the hints of greater meaning behind the 
words, but she had no desire to read more carefully over the 
delusions. They struck her to be similar to several recent movies. 
The whole thing left her unsure whether this dialogue was a 
compelling fiction that, by being so hectic and from the first person, 
tried to persuade its reader that it was real, or whether the writer 
truly did believe in what he was writing.
     
     Still, by the time midday had rolled by Hanna had little of the 
thing left to read. She could have studied it for weeks, pulling 
together a somewhat cogent story of this great, world spanning cult 
and its monsters from the scrambled notes and warnings. However, 
simply casting her eyes across the pages of the short book seemed to 
take little time at all. It was then, however, that her eyes were 
drawn back up from the pages as Maria, the over-achieving girl that 
the Professor had had words with the last time she had come, appeared 
from behind the bookshelves. "How studious," she said, her voice 
faintly mocking as it always seemed to be. "Go and have some lunch 
Alex, I'll look after her. I have a few things to look up anyway."
     
     Alex thanked her and gave her his seat, which she took with a 
smile. "I haven't seen you for a while Hanna. You seem to have 
acquired a new pastime."
     
     Hanna just looked back down to the book. "I'm nearly done Maria. 
You don't need to stick around for my sake."
     
     Maria put a feigned injury into her voice. "Ouch, I'm hurt. And 
here I thought you might have wanted some help; a shoulder and an ear 
to help lighten your load." Then the mischief evaporated from her 
voice. "I'll still say that Victoria knew what she was getting 
herself into, but she was also my friend. I'm willing to give you 
more credit than the Professor does."
     
     Hanna's head slowly rose, studying Maria carefully. "What do you 
mean?"
     
     "Some things are best left alone," Maria replied, both cryptic 
and unusually serious. "Some of those things also have a lot more to 
them than it first appears, and being blind to them will leave you 
with too many regrets when you finally open your eyes. It's just a 
matter of balance. I will have my magic medicine, and you should have 
your lover back."
     
     The cocky girl's smile returned to her face. "Victoria told us 
about you sometimes. A linguist who has never read 'The Art of War' 
in its original language is really missing out."
     
     And with that Maria took up both her own books and Hanna's and 
left, filing them away where they belonged. Hanna just sat for a 
moment. Maria knew everything, and was pointing her towards some 
greater truth behind what had sent Victoria to the old asylum. But 
could she trust the arrogant girl? Well, no matter how Hanna disliked 
her, Maria and Victoria had been friends of a sort, working together 
on their medical studies.
     
     Hanna rose and made her way to the foreign language section, 
finally finding the book Maria had alluded to. It had been misfiled, 
but somehow Hanna suspected that might have actually been intentional. 
After all, anyone who read Chinese would have found nothing of Sun 
Tsu's writings inside the cover. The closest Hanna could make to a 
title once she was past the cover, a bastardised sound unnatural to 
the oriental tongue - the text taking pains to accurately pronounce 
it, was 'R'lyeh'. A name Hanna recognised from long ago, just before 
she had put Victoria away. The name of the great sunken city that was 
this 'Dead Cthulhu's' resting place. She turned the page and began to 
read, and many hours later it was only under the light of the moon 
that she left the closing library, her stomach hollow and angry with 
hunger. 
     
     The next day she learned from that mistake. 
     
     She took her meals with her.
     
***
     
     Sister Mary Liten's dreams often drew out things that she tried 
hard to forget in the waking world. The strange things that she had 
believed her congregation capable of in the dark corners of her mind. 
The memories of her old motorbike, crippled and rusting away where 
she had left it as she fled for her safety. Her initial unease and 
suspicion of the faithful people that had taken her in.
     
     That night though, as Hanna studied by the dim light of a desk 
lamp, Sister Mary dreamed of a plateau beneath a sky of orange and 
purple. It was a place of both uninhibited instinct and unnatural 
purity. The ground beneath her bare feet was clean, but as soft and 
gentle as freshly tilled earth. The trees that dotted her vision were 
bare as if in readiness for some inexorable winter, and yet the air 
bore no hint of a chill. The pleasant breeze wrapped visibly around 
their smooth branches, leaving ghostly trails that mimicked the 
flying tendrils of a windswept willow. Because of that these trees 
had no hint of the haggardness that their lack of greenery might have 
shown, but instead only added to the ethereal beauty of the place.
     
     Mary was herself afflicted by the aura of this dreamland. She 
stood naked in the breeze, her unbound auburn hair flowing down past 
her shoulders, but for some reason the sight of her own flesh bared 
to the world caused her no shame now. She bore no embarrassment for 
her nakedness, she never had, but in reality the ghosts of her 
earlier years filled her with guilt, to such an extent that seeing 
herself nude seemed to dirty the woman of God that she had become. It 
was an association that went beyond her own body, no matter how 
irrational, but in this dream her nakedness was somehow pure, just 
like the leafless trees in the distance. An innocent nakedness, like 
that of a newborn child.
     
     She stood there for what could have been years, watching the 
colours in the sky shift and whirl. Then, quite when she wasn't sure, 
she realised that she was not alone. She turned to see a proud, regal 
figure behind her. It was female, possessing an unearthly 
attractiveness, but beyond that Mary did not know what to make of it. 
On the horizon it might have looked human, but it was not the face of 
a person that stared deeply into Mary's eyes. The inhuman woman 
licked the lips of her delicate feline muzzle as she stepped closer. 
To her own surprise Mary did not back away, or even feel afraid of 
the cat-headed being. She was too... in tune with the peacefulness 
that surrounded them.
     
     However, this cat woman also brought with her a threatening air. 
Her motherly smile was made with a fang toothed jaw, and her hands 
seemed swollen and miss-proportioned, as if trying to be both human 
and feline at the same time. She traced the strap of her simple 
leather bag with her finger, and it showed all too well that her 
claws were not clipped. Similarly, in contrast to Mary's innocent and 
unblemished nakedness, this woman wore garments of translucent purple 
silk across her perfect breasts, tied behind her neck and stretched 
down to the string-like belt at her hips, from which hung a similar 
cloth to obscure her crotch. It was not clothing of modesty though; 
the translucency of the cloth hid nothing, and in this place, wearing 
such garments, this feline woman was the sole source of any earthly 
sexuality. 
     
     They stared at each other for a long while, Mary losing herself 
more than once in the woman's clear, slitted eyes. "Who are you?"
     
     The cat woman smiled, but the rise of her tan-furred eyebrows 
held a certain bored aloofness. "Of all the things that could be said 
or done in this moment, and as always it comes to a single question. 
Tell me, human, what would you have me called? Warrior? Lover? Mother? 
What meaning would you ascribe to me?" Mary had to think about that, 
but the cat woman sighed before Mary could try to explain what she 
meant by so simple a question.
     
     "What does it matter... You may call me Bubasti if such a name 
makes me a more comfortable presence."
     
     And it did, Mary realised. A name, however little it meant, made 
this 'Bubasti' a person and not just an unknown entity. "Thank you." 
She took a moment to realise the connotations that the name brought 
with it, especially in light of this woman's appearance. "Would that 
make you... a Goddess?"
     
     Bubasti chuckled lightly at the idea. "I am as you see me. I will 
never understand you creatures."
     
     Mary pressed the point though. "I heard about you in a film once. 
But, you see, if you are a Goddess, then what am I to think of my 
faith? Even if this is a dream, I would like to know what I'm 
thinking by dreaming about you."
     
     "You are a curious one indeed," Bubasti replied, though it wasn't 
quite clear which meaning of 'curious' she meant. "I am long since 
tired of faiths and prayers. As to what you believe by dreaming me 
here, that is for you to decide. I have my own reasons to dream of 
you."
     
     "What do you mean?"
     
     Bubasti reached out to touch her, and Mary flinched as the clawed 
fingertips traced her jaw. She didn't want her unblemished dream 
existence influenced by Bubasti's complex, primal aura. 
     
     "You have a much twisted path, curious one," Bubasti answered, 
brushing the backs of her furred knuckles against Mary's chin. "Many 
penances and many passions constantly warring beneath the surface, 
stumbling along what cannot be a straight line regardless of how it 
appears. The coming enlightenment was inevitable, but to have it 
involve those such as yourself... that intrigues me."
     
     The cat goddess' hand pressed more firmly against Mary's skin as 
the pads of her fingers caressed her throat. Mary moved to speak, but 
one look from Bubasti's intense eyes silenced the words before they 
were spoken. "I am tired of your questioning, curious one," Bubasti 
said, her voice becoming breathy, as if in anticipation, "but I have 
questions of my own. I would not have you lost when fate claims you. 
I wish to see what emerges from the enlightenment, and that your 
salvation can be a part of it pleases me all the more."
     
     Bubasti's hand pressed into Mary's chest, her palm flat and her 
clawed thumb tracing its way down the side of Mary's breast. "I will 
have you, at least in part, curious one. I will be the mother to 
protect you, and you shall witness the breaking of the eternal 
cycle." 
     
     She stepped close until they stood bosom to bosom, Bubasti's 
feline lips at Mary's ear and her hand pressing into the woman's 
abdomen. "Do not fear, beloved human," she whispered. "You are safe, 
eternally." Mary felt the tears erupt from her eyes as she cried out, 
the skin of her belly splitting apart as Bubasti's claws raked into 
it. Mary reached down to her wounds in panic, but found only the 
simple cloth of her nightdress as she sat up, gasping in her bed. 
     
     There was no blood, no pain, and she wiped her hands across her 
eyes to clear her tears. The stark morning light shone through the 
gap in the curtains, which she had actually remembered to close the 
night before. Sister Mary took a moment to recover before slipping 
out of bed and slowly donning her robes, wondering how such a 
wonderful dream could have become so terrifying, and also wondering 
what it said about her.

***
     
     Hanna didn't know how many days she had spent devouring that 
oriental monstrosity of a book. Professor Walters had been right when 
he said that these tomes drew you in. Hanna had spent every waking 
moment that she could in that library, secreted in an alcove away 
from the prying eyes of Victoria's old society friends. Something 
told her that the lead Maria had put her onto was not something that 
the rest of them would have approved of.
     
     Still, however long it had been, it was the crack of dawn on 
Sunday when she finally broke the routine. Before the sun had even 
come up she had crept down from her hotel room to wait outside the 
small dormitory that sat next to the South Church. The wait was a 
nervous one, watching from across the road until a pair of nuns 
emerged from the building. Despite their full robes Hanna could see 
that Mary wasn't with them, so the wait continued. The peal of the 
church bell came and went, and there was still no sign, so Hanna 
finally decided to move.
     
     She knocked on the door and waited, feeling slightly foolish. 
Surely Mary would have been at the service. Maybe she went early to 
prepare. But then Hanna would have pulled her aside if she had seen 
her, so if Mary was absent then it would be a blessing in disguise. A 
rather odd sort of blessing coming from this church, but one she 
would have been thankful for. 
     
     So, when Mary did open the door for her, Hanna breathed a silent 
thank you to the powers that were. "Sister, I know this probably 
isn't the time, but I really need to talk."
     
     Sister Mary barely heard her words though. Hanna looked as though 
she had not slept for days and there was a certain agitated edge to 
her eyes. Seeing that, Mary hoped that the girl hadn't taken anything 
illicit. "Hanna, what happened? You look terrible. Come in and sit 
down before you fall over."
     
     Hanna's relief was obvious and she eagerly took the chair that 
Mary offered her. "Thank you. You know, I didn't actually think I'd 
say this, but you were right. Everything that Victoria used to 
believe in, everything that she's afraid of, it's all in those damned 
books. Down to the smallest detail, and tons more."
     
     "I see," Mary replied cautiously. "Just calm down a little and 
we'll talk about it over a cup of tea. You look like you need one."
     
     Hanna took a deep breath and blew it out through her teeth, her 
head falling back to stare at the ceiling. "... Yeah. Tea would be 
good I guess."
     
     Mary nodded and stepped out to the kitchen to put the water on to 
boil. "I am... glad that you have found what you were looking for," 
Mary said, hoping she would be allowed the white lie given the 
circumstances. "But you mustn't rush to any conclusions. Even if they 
are responsible for your girlfriend's condition, I can't see the 
university doing it on purpose."
     
     Hanna sighed, letting that advice roll around inside her head for 
a while. "... I know. I don't think they intended to do anything to 
her. Professor Walters seemed so apologetic, and even Maria seemed to 
feel bad about it."
     
     "Maria?" Mary asked from the kitchen.
     
     "One of Vicky's 'friends'. She showed me the R'lyeh text. She 
thinks there's some sort of power out there too. She's got the 
professor to give her lab time to make... a magic medicine, she 
called it."
     
     Mary re-appeared a moment later with two cups, and handed one of 
them to Hanna, who took it gratefully.
     
     "So," Mary probed, cautious about pushing Hanna in the wrong 
direction, "you think there is some sort of power there after all?"
     
     "What? No, of course not," Hanna rebutted. However there was a 
waver in her eyes that worried Mary as she explained. "But... it's 
all there. This book even told of the sinking of the continent of Mu, 
the ancient Atlantis that Victoria used to dream about at the 
beginning, and how this great monster of hers went down with it. The 
cults, the way he sends out dreams to people, the Deep Ones that 
worship him, it's all there."
     
     "Deep Ones?" Mary could see that whatever this book was it had 
gone into enough detail to shake the poor girl severely, reminding 
her of her girlfriend's bouts of delusion.
     
     "They're these fish-people, like servants or something," Hanna 
explained, trying to remember what she had hastily read. "They're the 
things Victoria said she dreamed about... having sex with. Apparently 
they're supposed to have been interbreeding with humans for centuries 
now."
     
     "So then you know where she got these ideas from," Mary observed, 
speaking gently.
     
     To her surprise however Hanna just shook her head, tears 
beginning to fill her eyes. "No, that's what doesn't make any sense! 
How can she have read it? It's in Chinese! She was dealing with some 
rambling book notes that never even tried to make sense of themselves. 
Just trying to put a meaningful narrative together out of that one 
made my head hurt. It never even spelled 'Cthulhu' the same way 
twice."
     
     Whatever Hanna might have said after that was lost on Mary. She 
knew that name, even though she had not known that it was a name at 
all. That one Sunday morning, all those months ago, she had broken 
into the house that backed onto the dormitory. She had failed to find 
anything that had proved her paranoia justified, but she had only had 
so much time to search before one of that extended family returned 
early. He had shouted some strange curse at her before attempting to 
take her down, but after the fact her doctor had simply put it down 
to her hysteria at the time. 
     
     'Cthulhu' had definitely been part of that foreign sounding curse 
though, when she had been caught trying to force her way into that 
upper rear room that she so regularly had too good a view of. Did 
this mean that family really did have some belief in strange things 
outside their Sunday morning worship? Were their night-time 
activities as unclean as they had first seemed to be? If Hanna's 
girlfriend had come to believe in this seemingly blasphemous 'cult', 
could they have done the same?  
     
     "Hanna," she interrupted, her anxious voice wavering just a 
little, "do you believe in all that?"
     
     Hanna stared at her, surprised out of her rambling explanations. 
"N-no. How could I? But Vicky does, and I don't know how she could 
know it all so accurately. And I think Maria and maybe even Professor 
Walters believe in it too, or at least in something that's hidden in 
that library."
     
     "I see," Mary replied, suddenly unsure of herself. She recognised 
this feeling, and it was not one that she liked. "Hanna, just 
remember that you are trying to help Victoria. I..." she found 
herself stumbling over another white lie, "I have errands I have to 
run. Please, go back to your hotel, have something to eat, get some 
sleep, and try not to worry. I will come by tomorrow, and we can talk 
properly then, when we're both more ready for it."
     
     How Hanna could avoid worrying, let alone sleep, was beyond her, 
but she did as she was told. In fact by the time she had got back and 
put her head to the pillow she was out like a light, and slept until 
mid afternoon. Mary on the other hand just retreated to her room 
after they parted, her unfinished tea in hand, and found herself 
staring out to that upper back-room window until the cup in her 
fingers had gone cold.

***
     
     Of course, while Hanna's midday snooze had been a much needed one, 
it also left her wide awake by the time the moon had risen. She would 
have gone to see Victoria, but she found the best she could do was 
book her next visiting time. The hospital had hours to keep as well. 
Three days seemed like such a long time before she could see Vicky 
again, but if Sister Mary really was going to come by to listen to 
her properly then Hanna wanted to be there. She still had too many 
unanswered questions, and too much of what she had learned made far 
too much sense to discredit Vicky's delusions so easily.
     
     The entire thing worried Hanna far more than she had let on. 
Victoria knew details of her own delusions that she couldn't possibly 
have studied without a great deal of help. It was such an obvious 
fantasy, this nightmarish vision on sea monsters, cults and sunken 
cities, and yet the deeper Hanna looked the less proof she had that 
it was only make believe. She would have gone out to get drunk again, 
but she didn't want to take the risk that she might be the one to end 
up raving about monsters in the claustrophobic midnight streets if 
she did. 
     
     As the hands of the clock began to approach midnight a sharp rap 
at the door to her room startled Hanna out of her reverie, so much so 
that she fell off her bed with a shriek. Who would call on her at 
this hour? Unless...
     
     Sure enough, it was Sister Mary she found when she finally 
unlocked her door, but the nun's expression held anything but the 
calmness that it usually possessed. 
     
     "Sister?" Hanna asked, more than a little confused.
     
     Mary just swallowed, trying to keep her composure. "I'd like you 
to see something."
     
     Then, without anything more, Mary took Hanna's hand and began to 
lead her away, only just giving the young woman time to lock her room 
behind them. "S-Sister? What is it?"
     
     Mary just shook her head. "I don't know. But... if *you* do, then 
I was right. And maybe your girlfriend is. And maybe God is showing 
me this for a reason after all."
     
     Hanna just followed as Mary led her through the streets, 
seemingly unwilling to explain herself any further. Whatever it was, 
knowing it was somehow connected to Victoria was all Hanna really 
needed to keep walking.
     
     Eventually they found themselves back at Mary's dormitory, and 
the older woman led Hanna quietly up to her room. It was just as 
Hanna might have expected, sparse and unassuming, but her nerves were 
taut as Mary hesitated behind her, then, placing a hand on each of 
Hanna's shoulder's, led her to the window.
     
     At first Hanna wasn't sure what she was supposed to be seeing, 
but soon she saw it and looked down at the windowsill, away from the 
window opposite. "They're having sex," she noted, stating the obvious 
and feeling rather embarrassed. "Lots of people have sex you know."
     
     Mary just squeezed Hanna's shoulders in annoyance. "I'm not the 
virgin you take me for. Just watch. It's like this every time - the 
dancing, the chanting..." She dropped her own head now, not willing 
to watch the silhouetted display any further. "I hope I'm wrong, and 
that it's just my imagination, but when you mentioned Tuthooloo, or 
whatever it was, I remembered what he shouted at me when I was... 
while I was under my own delusions."
     
     "They do this every night?" Hanna asked. Now, as she watched, 
there was something almost tribal about the 'activity' in that house. 
And having sex so openly around others struck her as rather atypical 
for the rather insular people of Arkham.
     
     "Not every night," Mary explained.  "Just sometimes. I was 
thankful that they are leaving on holiday soon, but I know now that 
it is not my place to judge, unless..." 
     
     "Unless they're trying to act out what Vicky believes," Hanna 
finished for her. The more she watched the less random the dancing 
seemed, and a few small things began slotting together in her 
memories. "Deep Ones..." She whispered to herself, "they're going 
down to the coast for their holiday, aren't they?"
     
     Hanna felt Mary's fingers tremble where they lay on her shoulders. 
"Y-you knew?"
     
     "When are they leaving?"
     
     "Tomorrow," Mary replied. "I was looking forward to being at the 
church services again. After what I did that family prefer it if I 
don't attend."
     
     Hanna turned away and sat down heavily on the bed. "I'm going 
over there."
     
     Mary looked at her in shock. "What?"
     
     "I..." Hanna hesitated, barely believing what she was saying, "I 
read that there are rituals and things for paying homage to the Deep 
Ones. A high priest or shaman or someone gets high and believes he 
can talk to them. Vicky told me about that once. She was a giant Deep 
One in her dream, and someone tried to bargain with her through that 
trance, like it was magic."
     
     Mary looked mortified by the idea. "You can't believe that's what 
they're trying to do?"
     
     "That's what I'm going to find out. Maybe they're just perverts 
behind closed doors, but I have to find out for myself. I need to 
find something to say that this is all just nonsense from a crazy old 
Chinese storyteller."

***
     
     Victoria sat in the clean, bright hallway, finally allowed out of 
her room again. She had been terribly lonely over the days that had 
passed since her nightmare, in part because the memory of Hanna's 
last kiss lingered so clearly in her mind. She couldn't wait to see 
her, but who knew when she would come back to visit again. After the 
recording of that nightmare she couldn't blame Hanna for avoiding her, 
and if she had fled to safety, away from Arkham, then all the better 
for her. 
     
     She had not admitted it to Dr Turner, but Victoria had had more 
nightmares since then. None so graphic and upsetting, but they clawed 
at her mind as if trying to drag her back down into the perpetual 
fear she had once felt several years ago. She knew it could only mean 
that the stars really were coming right again, and she had prepared 
herself for them. She would weather the nightmares, if only so that 
they would have no hold over her waking mind. She would protect Hanna 
from them this time. When Cthulhu woke, she and Hanna would be far, 
far away, no matter what it took. If hiding would keep them safe from 
the awful, rampant pleasures, then so be it.
     
     But to do that she would have to get out of the hospital. She 
knew there was little chance of that now. In her dreams she had seen 
that Cthulhu had the power, but she would not accept it from him. For 
that matter, if he wanted her free, was it better to remain in the 
institution?
     
     "Victoria, how are you feeling this morning?"
     
     Vicky turned and got up from the floor as Dr Turner approached. 
"I'm okay. Better actually."
     
     "Hmm," the doctor mused, looking into Victoria's eyes. "You still 
look like you're having trouble sleeping. Are the pills not working?"
     
     "No, no," Victoria lied, "they're good. I just miss Hanna, that's 
all."
     
     Carolyn smiled when she heard that. "Then I have some good news 
for you. She will be coming to see you tomorrow."
     
     Victoria's eyes lit up. "R-really?"
     
     "Really. So make sure you get some proper rest tonight. You want 
to look as good as you can, don't you."
     
     Victoria felt the warm glow spread out from her chest at the 
thought. "Yeah. Thanks Carolyn."
     
     The doctor nodded and took her leave, walking on a few doors 
before getting out her keys. "Your sister is here Gregory. Shall we 
go and meet her?"
     
     'Sister?' Victoria thought, 'Harmon has a sister? She's never 
visited before. Not that he had many visitors anyway, but still...'
     
     "Thank you doctor," Harmon replied, emerging from his room as his 
door was unlocked. "I have missed her so."
     
     Victoria knew that Gregory Harmon was a nutcase even by their 
standards, but he also knew about things that made her hair stand on 
end. Dark secrets, as if he had been touched by the Dreaded Cthulhu's 
nightmares as well, and yet he seemed to use them to taunt the 
doctors and other patients. If he had family, Victoria had to see it. 
She kept a discreet distance, following them out into the grounds, 
and she tucked herself behind the corner of the building as Harmon 
took a bench next to the woman that had come to see him.
     
     Victoria had never seen him so much as touch another, but he 
actually hugged this woman as they greeted each other. As they talked 
Victoria was stunned by how calm Harmon was, but then she supposed 
that family would have that effect on many of the patients there. 
However, Victoria wasn't going to give Harmon of all people the 
benefit of the doubt. She might have been looking for meaning where 
there was none, but she knew, as they discussed their upcoming family 
reunion, that Harmon was plotting something. There was no way he 
would be let out in only three days if she couldn't have a day out to 
visit Hanna. She looked around to see that the two male nurses were 
still watching from a distance, as they always did when Harmon was 
out of his room. He would end up making a lot of trouble for nothing.
     
     Besides, a family reunion on a yacht? Maybe some of the lucky 
patients might get a day trip to the beach, but boating would really 
be stretching it! Victoria sighed. She felt a bit bad for their 
mother. From the way they talked Harmon obviously doted on her, and 
she hadn't been to see him once. At least not since Victoria had 
arrived.

***
     
     With Sister Mary's back room view it was easy for her to know the 
moment that the house behind the dormitory was vacated. The night 
before they left their 'party', as Mary had forced herself to call it, 
was even more energetic than was usual, and the family had packed 
themselves into their cars and driven off in the small hours of the 
following morning. The timing couldn't have been better, but Mary's 
morals once again conflicted with her desires. It would be so easy to 
break inside, with no-one left to discover her. Yet could she really 
allow herself to slide down that greasy slope, away from both the law 
and her conscience? 
     
     She knew the answer to that, but it was not an option she could 
allow herself to choose. So, one phone call and forty five minutes 
later, it was Hanna who hopped the fence when no-one was around, and 
Mary was left with no choice but to follow, if only to make sure the 
girl coped with whatever they would or wouldn't find. It amazed Mary 
how little that back garden seemed to have changed in the time since 
her last visit. It was almost nostalgic. The same bare spots of grass, 
the same half-filled pool, and the same back door she had forced open. 
Even the door frame was still broken from the kick she had delivered 
to the cheap wooden door, now secured by a chain and padlock. Another 
swift kick, from Hanna this time, and more wood gave way, leaving 
them to dash inside before anyone wondered what the noise was. Not 
that anyone would. It wasn't their business, so why should they pay 
attention?
     
     Once they were inside Hanna couldn't help but look around. Even 
when breaking into someone else's house there was this lingering need 
to compare the decor and layout to her own home back in New York. It 
seemed normal enough, if rather drab, but then why shouldn't it? 
Somehow in the back of her mind she had been expecting meat hooks and 
bone altars, and she felt an involuntary giggle at how silly that 
seemed now.
     
     However, any guilt that might have crept up on her was outpaced 
by Mary. She had been there before, seen the overweight family 
portraits that hung from the walls, and knew where she needed to be. 
As she headed upstairs Hanna followed, both their hearts racing at 
the prospect. They were the criminals now, and they were weighing 
that against the chance that whatever they might find would reveal 
these people to be worse than they now were. A dead body in a closet 
would have been a good start, but that kind of wishful thinking meant 
that somebody would have had to have died, and neither of them wanted 
that either.  
     
     They didn't find a body, but that back upstairs room did stand 
out when compared with the rest of the house. It was a sparse, even 
bare looking bedroom. The bed, sitting beneath the window and giving 
such a good view of certain things best not watched, was stripped 
bare, and neither the walls or floor were covered, just showing the 
bare wood. If anything it was an improvement over the bland and faded 
wallpaper and carpeting that covered the rest of the house, but it 
gave the room a detached, aged feel. 
     
     "What now?" Mary asked hesitantly, looking around the bare walls.
     
     Hanna shook her head. "I don't know. I guess we search it."
     
     'Not that there is much to search,' she thought. But still, there 
was too much unknown for her to begin thinking that these people had 
nothing to hide. She chose the single, plain chest of drawers and 
began to rifle through them. "They have a gun," she noted as her 
hands fell upon a pistol buried in the haphazard piles of socks. 
"Lots of people have guns," she answered herself before Mary had the 
chance, berating herself over the 'find'.
     
     Mary meanwhile reached under the bed. Stripped as it was she 
could see the trunk underneath, and knelt down to pull it out. She 
wasn't sure what she expected to find, but the statue that met her 
eyes was most definitely not it. She recoiled from the foot tall 
piece of stone that lay there, as if it might have reached out to 
grab her. "Hanna!"
     
     Hanna had never seen anything like it, but she recognised it 
immediately. "Cthulhu."
     
     The thing was humanoid, sitting hunched and roughly hewn on the 
stone base, its knees bent and its clawed feet seeming to dig into 
the rock it squatted upon. In contrast to those stubby legs its arms 
were long and outstretched, as if open to embrace the viewer, and the 
pair of what seemed to be bat-like wings stretched just as wide. 
However, like so many works of art, how such frail seeming wings 
could have lifted such a creature beggared belief. Worst however was 
the mass that passed for the creature's head. It was more finely 
carved than the rest, as if it was the one part of the creature that 
the artist actually knew. Then again, it was little more than an 
octopus sitting atop the statue's neck, two widely spaced and bulging 
eyes set into a flabby looking mass, the mouth of which was hidden 
beneath its many tentacles. 
     
     However, the image was one of such unnatural proportions and 
anatomy that it disturbed both Hanna and Sister Mary like nothing 
they had seen before. Their natural reaction would have been to laugh 
at it, but something in its poise and crudely carved visage prevented 
that. It was just too 'wrong' to be amusing.
     
     "Do you think they made it?" Mary asked.
     
     Hanna bent down to take the statue in her hands, and she 
swallowed hard. "I don't think so. It looks kind of old. Look, the 
wing is chipped too. Maybe their grandparents did it. They haven't 
kept it too well for a god."
     
     "But," Mary said, "if they worship that... thing, if it is a cult, 
why haven't they taken it with them?"
     
     Hanna just stared at the statue. "Maybe Vicky was right. This 
monster lives trapped it its city under the sea, affecting its 
followers with dreams and waiting for them to free it. Vicky said 
'The stars are coming right'. That's when the sunken island rises 
from the water. Maybe these people don't need a statue when they are 
going to release the real thing. Maybe that's what their 'holiday' is 
all about."
     
     Sister Mary digested that idea, even as it made her insides crawl. 
"But if he sends dreams to his followers, then... why is your 
Victoria dreaming of him?"
     
     That stopped Hanna in her tracks. "I don't know. Maybe she was 
too sensitive to escape it. The book said that some people are more 
sensitive to it than others." She sighed and tossed the crude statue 
onto the bed. "Anyway, I'll find out tomorrow."
     
     Mary got to her feet, crossing her hands over her chest in worry. 
"How?"
     
     "I've got an appointment. I can see her then."
     
     The pair did not stay much longer, but Hanna made sure to pocket 
the gun as she left. She didn't know how much of what to believe any 
more, but if Victoria was any indication then these people were 
dangerous. That much was certain.

***
     
     Hanna was relieved when her wait in the psychiatric hospital's 
main hall proved uneventful this time. No unpleasant surprises to 
rattle her already frayed nerves, and it reassured her that Victoria 
was in a better frame of mind. In fact, when she and Dr Turner 
reached Victoria's room, her girlfriend practically glowed to see her 
again, despite the ravages of paranoia that still lingered in her 
face. 
     
     "Hanna!" Victoria beamed, instantly taking the chance her hug her. 
"I'm so glad you came back."
     
     Hanna returned the sentiments, holding her tightly. On the one 
hand she was at war with herself, now knowing that Victoria's madness 
was not a madness at all, at least in part, but feeling unable to do 
anything about it. Victoria was in there for a reason after all. And 
on the other hand she just didn't care any more. The only explanation 
she had for Victoria's fantasies was that this Cthulhu existed, 
touching Vicky's mind from his deep sea slumbers, and that still 
sounded so patently ridiculous. They could call them both mad, if it 
would let them stay together. 
     
     "Doctor, could you give us a moment?" Hanna asked as she held her 
girlfriend.
     
     Carolyn nodded, but there was a caution in her eyes. Hanna 
couldn't really blame her after what had happened. "Alright," Dr 
Turner replied after a moment's thought. "Call if you need anything."
     
     After she was gone Hanna lifted Victoria's chin up from where it 
rested at her collar. "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but 
you were right. All that crap about cults... we think we've actually 
found one of them." She gazed into Victoria's shocked eyes. "And all 
your bad dreams, it's all written down in that library."
     
     "No, no," Victoria wept, realising what she had led her 
girlfriend into. "I told you not to look. I don't want to lose you!"
     
     Hanna just smiled and kissed her deeply, relishing the taste of 
her lips. "Vicky, if your Cthulhu does exist after all, these freaks 
can try to release him all they want. Why hasn't he come out before? 
Something just has to prevent them opening the doors when R'lyeh 
rises, or make that Great Beast retreat back down into the sunken 
city. What can one fanatical family really do?"
     
     "It wont just be one this time," Victoria said, her tears 
staining her cheeks. "In my dreams Cthulhu had his beach crowded this 
time. They are thronging around him." Then the realisation came to 
her. "You can do it. You can stop them. You're still free, you have 
to get there first and make sure they can't open the doors to the 
city in time."
     
     "Vicky," Hanna sighed. "Even if I did, how would I find it? How 
could I stop them? Besides, they've already left for the coast. Let 
them have their wild goose chase. It's enough for me to know that you 
were right about people like them existing."
     
     Victoria seemed confused by that revelation. "They've left? But 
the stars aren't right. Not yet. It doesn't feel right." The she 
remembered what she had seen the day before. "Harmon! Harmon's family 
is meeting on a yacht too! They'll be casting off from Innsmouth in 
two days! Heh, the poor sod thinks he's going with them. But that's 
got to be it. They're going to be there too. They must know when the 
stars will be right already!"
     
     "Vicky, listen, if this dead god really does exist then we can 
run when it all hits the fan, but right now you're just chasing after 
shadows. Let them believe whatever they want. I'm going to try and 
get you out of here. I can use these people to prove you aren't 
really crazy, just as long as you keep getting better, okay? No more 
screaming and no more fights."
     
     "I can prove it," Victoria replied seriously. "The Miskatonic 
Society knows it. In their books they have powerful teachings. Real 
magic power."
     
     "I know," Hanna interrupted, feeling exasperated by her 
girlfriends adamant fixation on actively opposing these people. 
"Maria's 'Magic Medicine' and all that."
     
     Victoria nodded, "If... If she's gone ahead and done it, if she 
can make that serum and the rites work together, then she can bring 
the dead back to life! That's proof enough, right? But," her face 
fell, "if it's going to happen so soon, then it doesn't matter. All 
the proof will be too late."
     
     Hanna just shook her head and sighed again, caressing Victoria's 
cheek. "Vicky," she said with another lingering kiss, "just let it go. 
Get better and I'll try to get you out soon. Then we can go wherever 
you want, if it'll make you feel better."
     
     Victoria chose not to answer. Hanna was right, and it was too 
late anyway. She leaned in to press her lips to Hanna's again, and 
lost herself in the tender embrace. She would at least make the most 
of her lover's touch, however brief it had to be in that place.

***
     
     That evening, long after the sun had set, Victoria was ready for 
pleasant dreams. A night of fantasy within her lover's arms, leaving 
behind the horrors that lurked in the coming night. Whatever would 
come was inevitable now, and she would do her best to let it lie.
     
     And, of course, fate had other plans. Now that Vicky longed for 
sleep the other patients howled into the night, crying or screaming 
for their tormentor to stop his incessant chanting. Even with the 
cacophony that echoed through the halls Victoria could hear Harmon at 
prayer, speaking some foreign language as the torrent of words poured 
from his ever-moving lips. He had proclaimed that tonight was the 
night of his brothers and sisters, and that he would be taken up to 
join them, soon to welcome their mother to these 'barren shores'.
     
     It was sad - laughable even - but it still made her uneasy. The 
one night Victoria wanted to rest, and Harmon had to take that night 
to flip out. She could just imagine them, this madman's family, 
gathered around a great stone altar and their bloody sacrifice, 
chanting in rhythm with their incarcerated comrade. Then again, she 
thought, this world didn't need any more like him around, let alone a 
whole family of them. 
     
     After a moment she thought she heard something hit the ground 
outside. Something heavy. Several somethings, as another followed it, 
and another. What little warning they were had come too late though, 
and from her room there was nothing Victoria could have done anyway. 
     
     With an almighty crash the building shook, and the screams turned 
from ones of sorrow and anxiety to those of terror and pain. Victoria 
sat bolt upright in her bed, just in time to see a great black 
tendril lash its way through the air above her head. The huge, black, 
ropey mass ploughed through the wall, showering her with dust and 
shattered brick as Victoria screamed and went scrambling for cover. 
Another tentacle followed its path, carving up the ceiling and 
smashing through room after room as it obliterated the stonework.
     
     Even through her panic Victoria realised what Harmon's babbling 
had been about. His family had sent for him after all. 
     
     She could barely see the towering monstrosity against the 
blackness outside, but she just caught a glimpse of Harmon's 
silhouette has he emerged from the rubble. That was all she was 
allowed though, as the building began to groan under the assault, and 
Victoria's sudden scream was cut short as the ceiling finally gave 
way.

***
     
     The destruction could be heard all across town, but only a few 
people actually left their houses or their bars to see what it might 
have been. More simply braced themselves for an earthquake that never 
came, but the darkly melancholic aura of Arkham did little to help 
fill its inhabitants with concern. They just didn't want to get 
involved.
     
     Hanna and Mary went though, and found themselves all but alone on 
the street outside the hotel, looking northwards to where the 
crashing had come from. It was faint, and by the time they saw it the 
thing had all but vanished over the top of the hill, but silhouetted 
against the moonlit sky they saw the behemoth lumbering away. Mary 
crossed herself, staring in fearful disbelief after the thing that 
her faith simply would not allow her to accept. It couldn't be real, 
such a being - such a demon even - was a thing of fiction come to 
life, or of the hells made manifest on earth. Even seeing just a 
shadow of it in the far distance, it could not have been anything of 
this earth, at least not that she knew of. It had stood as tall as 
the trees!
     
     Hanna's reaction was far simpler. Victoria had been proved right 
yet again, and now she may have lost her because of it. What could 
that thing have been but a servant of the Dead Cthulhu? "VICTORIA!!"
     
     Hanna made to dash away, but Mary, her eyes still glazed in 
mortal dread, grabbed the cuff of her jacket. "Hanna... That thing... 
These blasphemous cults are right. We... we have to stop them."
     
     Hanna's mind raced, trying to piece together some sort of 
coherent thought about what they could do. "I-I have to see Vicky!" 
she stammered, tripping over her own words. "She said they were 
heading to some place called Innsmouth. You go and follow them. 
They... if you can delay them long enough, they can't do anything! 
Take a camera, we can get proof." 
     
     She swallowed hard, feeling herself getting light headed as she 
hyperventilated. "Vicky said they won't be leaving yet. We still have 
time. I'll follow you, but... I have to see if she's alright."
     
     Sister Mary just nodded dumbly and Hanna raced off, towards the 
sanitorium. What could she do? She was just one woman. She had not 
held any sort of weapon in years. Was there still enough of the 
motorcycle riding punk left in her to take on these people? To take 
on something that, from everything that she had heard, was a living 
god?
     
     She felt a swell of something in her chest. She worked for the 
Lord now - no matter how shaken her faith, or even if there was any 
shred of truth in it after what she had just seen. This was her duty. 
She knew that the burnt out remains of Innsmouth were only a bus ride 
away, and so she went. She bought herself a cheap, disposable camera 
from one of the curio shops that she passed and a small bag, which 
she filled with food. Enough to keep her going if she was to stow 
away on board a boat for a few days. Unlike Hanna, she felt herself 
lucky that this was Arkham. Many shops chose to remain open until the 
late hours, to catch the custom of the rumour hunters and oddballs 
who took the chance to chase up on old horror tales there. As she 
left the town, she wondered how many of those tales held some sort of 
truth about them. After all, she was now a part of one of them. 
     
     The bus stop was just outside the outskirts, and looking up the 
hill beside it she hoped that Hanna and her girlfriend would be 
alright. The psychiatric hospital was a buzz of activity, with all 
manner of emergency service sirens going now.
     
     However, as she waited she realised the flaw in her plan. Late 
night buses were few and far between, if they even ran at all. With 
nothing much of interest there not many people wanted to travel by 
that road any more, let alone stop down by the coast. Then, as she 
waited, she saw someone trudging up the tarmac towards the town. He 
was tall, and beneath the hood of his long, heavy coat he seemed to 
look handsome and chiselled. However, as he approached she saw that 
his eyes were held too wide open and they lacked any energy or 
sparkle, and by the time he reached her she realised that while clean 
shaven and well groomed he smelled foul, like the restroom at a 
roadside truck stop. 
     
     And, to her horror, he stopped with her. "Sister," he said in a 
rasping baritone, "to think that I would find a woman of God here." 
He smiled broadly and sat down in the shelter, his head knocking 
against wooden wall. "Do you believe in salvation Sister?"
     
     Mary swallowed hard, trying to disguise her worry. "Yes. Of 
course."
     
     The man's smile became a grin. "Even knowing what you now must 
know?" he asked, his eyes rolling up towards the old asylum.
     
     Mary's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. He knew. He knew 
something, to be sure. How was he involved in all this diablerie? 
"Yes, I do. Salvation is always possible, even if it comes in a form 
we do not expect."
     
     The man's grin sagged as if his muscles were melting beneath his 
skin. But that grin did not dissolve away completely, instead 
becoming nothing more than a simple, happy smile. "Sister, your bus 
is here."
     
     Looking behind her she saw that the old coach was indeed 
approaching. She felt his hand on her shoulder, and before she could 
say anything he shoved something large and leathery into her hands. 
"Do not fear enlightenment sister," he whispered before striding past 
her and towards the town. 
     
     Mary looked down to see the large, weighty book in her hands, and 
nearly dropped it in revulsion. Its cover was black and cracked like 
old tar, and yet the leather wrinkled and squirmed across its face 
creating the most unpleasant patterns. She stared at it paralyzed 
with indecision until the voice of the bus driver shook her back to 
herself.
     
     "Hey, lady, you getting' on or not? I'm only out here 'coz we saw 
you walking up this way you know."
     
     Mary blinked and nodded, climbing up the steps and being careful 
not to trip on her robes. "I'm sorry. Here. I need to get to 
Innsmouth."
     
      She handed him the fistful of coins that would take her there, 
and he gave her a strange look. "If you say so. Mind you, if anyone 
needs a missionary it's those bums out there."
     
     Mary didn't reply, or even acknowledge his words, but the driver 
was more than content to get going, and let her take her seat.  As 
far as he was concerned she was a saint to want to go there, and he 
just wanted to concentrate on scrounging up any straggling fares 
along the way.
     
     In her seat Mary looked at the unpleasant book in her lap, 
remembering the man's words. 
     
     "Do not fear enlightenment sister."
     
     They echoed with the words from her nightmare dream several days 
ago. "The coming enlightenment was inevitable..." the cat goddess had 
said. 
     
     'A premonition. For whose enlightenment?' was all she could think. 
'But the cat had said it as though it was an event...'
     
     Mary felt a crawling in the pit of her stomach, but it was not 
one of nausea. With trembling fingers she opened the gruesome cover 
and saw the words on the page, foreign and incomprehensible.
     
     Or so they should have been. Mary did not know what language it 
was or how she could read it, but that didn't matter. She read it all 
the same. And she read, and read, and read, until time itself seemed 
to stand still.

***
     
     Around her Hanna could have sworn that the world, in all its 
chaotic activity, had become lost in some sort of silent void. The 
vivid lights of the police, fire fighters and ambulances flashed 
around her, but she heard no sirens. People moved their lips 
animatedly, but no voices reached her ears. The cries of the bleeding 
wounded went unheard by her, and the calls for her to clear the road 
fell upon deaf ears. The sight of so many people in panic, covered in 
so much blood, was like a thing from a nightmare, or from the forever 
morbid spots that played on news channels twenty four hours a day. 
     
     She grabbed a passing paramedic, asking where Victoria or Dr 
Turner were, but though she stared at his lips she could not make out 
what he was saying to her. Only the finger he pointed gave her any 
idea where to go, and she stumbled hurriedly to that stretch of grass 
where people were being laid out. 
     
     Was she in shock already? There wasn't time for that, she tried 
to rationalise. She saw Dr Turner among the hubbub of activity, being 
carted into the back of one of the ambulances on a stretcher. She was 
alive, at least for now, and Hanna resumed her search for the girl 
that meant everything to her. She did not want to see the doctor's 
obliterated left arm, which the medics attended to even as she was 
carried away. 
     
     But of course Hanna couldn't get the image out of her mind. The 
world around her slowed so as to show her every gory detail as she 
scanned the grass. The victims of this disaster howled silently into 
the night as their wounds were tended. One poor man tried to babble 
around the crimson fountain that seemed to pour from his mouth. An 
aging lady trembled weakly as her shattered legs were tended to.
     
     Slowly, as Hanna walked the line, she realised that the medics 
and assisting police had thinned out. Another man lay staring at the 
night sky, petrified as if having seen the face of death itself. Of 
course, he had. These were the corpses now, left unattended by the 
medical staff. There were other people who needed the attention who 
could still be saved.
     
     Finally the silence was broken by a deafening pounding in her 
ears. In a maddened panic Hanna fell upon the bodies, casting aside 
anything she could that covered their lifeless faces. Coats, 
handkerchiefs and even hats were tossed across the grass as she 
desperately searched. She hoped now never to find Victoria, that 
somehow she would be left to believe that she was alive somewhere, 
her body never found. The idea that she might be disturbing other 
peoples' deceased loved ones never entered her mind. Her face slowly 
grew wetter as her tears poured from her eyes, mixing with the dust 
that flew from the bodies she searched as she tried to find the one 
that she could identify. 
     
     She stopped suddenly in her tracks. Victoria didn't actually look 
too bad. She was covered in dust, and several large grazes adorned 
her head and shoulders, but otherwise she might just have been 
sleeping. Laid out like that Hanna would never have been able to tell 
if she hadn't been resting beside so many other dead. Hanna tried to 
deny it, staring at the body of her love, but, like everything else, 
the words of denial were lost amid the thunderous noise of her heart 
pounding in her ears. 
     
     "Vicky, wake up," she said into the silence, suddenly realising 
the truth. Victoria couldn't be dead. It just wasn't possible. Vicky 
was the one who had known the truth about the Dead Cthulhu all along. 
She was the one Hanna's life had come to revolve around, no matter 
how imperfect the circumstances had become. "Come on love," she urged, 
"we have to go and stop the monster now, remember? Sister Mary is 
waiting for us, we mustn't be late. Vicky. Come on Vicky, wake up. 
Vicky! WAKE UP!!!"
     
     And reality hit her like a freight train. The corpse before her 
was cold, it's eyes closed for its final, eternal rest, and Hanna was 
alone. Suddenly the world was filled with noise again; screams of 
pain, calls for aid from one paramedic to another and the mournful 
wailing of a dozen lost men and women.
     
     "NO!" Hanna screamed. Her heart shattered within her, her mind 
laid waste with grief, Hanna crumpled over Victoria's still form, 
gathering it up limply her arms. She wept into Victoria's pale skin, 
not even having the willpower to curse the world for what it had done 
to her. The rest of the world no longer existed for her. All that she 
had done, and all that she had sacrificed, had been for the woman 
that could no longer dry the tears that spilled in a torrent down 
Hanna's face. That wretched demon didn't matter any more. Its 
monstrous servant had taken Victoria away from her, and Hanna would 
stay by Victoria's side until the beast came to claim her as well.
     
     Then a moment of clarity fell upon her. This had been brought 
about by a power beyond that of mortal men. And, by Victoria's own 
word, such power could bring Victoria back to her.

***
     
     Hanna didn't even realise how much of a miracle it had been 
getting to the Miskatonic University. In all the tumult Hanna's 
apparent clear headedness when she had offered an extra car to help 
ferry people to St. Mary's hospital had been welcomed. If they had 
known that the only thing in her mind was to get Victoria to the 
campus grounds then she might easily have been arrested. They barely 
even noticed that it was just a single body she left with, or that 
her level head seemed so out of place among the people that grieved 
for those they had lost in the collapse. 
     
     Hanna's grief had given her drive. She no longer had any doubt in 
her mind. There simply was no room in her head left for it. 
Everything was real now, and nothing would stop her. She would get 
her love back.
     
     And yet, she had no idea how. She had driven like a woman 
possessed, feeling in her soul that the longer she was left to wait 
the less chance she had of bringing Victoria back at all. She had not 
even thought to check whether the security teams or cameras might 
notice her bringing a body into the building. She lay her girlfriend 
down in the simple spill bath in the first lab that she could find, 
and her fingers lingered on Victoria's cold flesh. "Don't worry 
love," she whispered gently, taking care not to knock her as she lay 
her down and stripped her of her dusty, torn clothing. "I'll have you 
better in no time."
     
     She would have lingered there just staring at her girlfriend's 
calm face for hours, but that nagging feeling that time was of the 
essence returned to her. But where was it? As she ran out into the 
hall she realised that she had no idea. Which lab room? She began to 
panic, her eyes growing wild as she tried desperately to remember. 
     
     "Four-... something... DAMN IT!"
     
     Still that was enough, and she raced up to the fourth floor. 
Nearing the middle of the night the place was almost deserted, but 
Hanna could have let out a whoop of joy when she saw a light coming 
from the second hallway. She didn't even have to search, and made 
straight for it. Sure enough, she saw who she wanted to.
     
     Maria stood in her lab coat, her large protective glasses over 
her face as she peered into the microscope in front of her. Her notes 
were strewn across the counter top around her, her back to the door, 
and she was so engrossed by her work that she never even noticed as 
Hanna clicked open the door. Then, suddenly, Maria broke into a fit 
of giggles as she gazed at whatever reaction was happening on her 
slide. Hanna backed away a step in surprise, but a moment later her 
determination returned.
     
     "Wait 'till they see this!" Maria muttered giddily to herself. 
     
     She barely had time to flinch when she heard the shot. Hanna 
flinched, the gun she had stolen from the cultist's house kicking 
back in her hand. Maria was tossed over the work counter as the 
bullet punched through the back of her skull, blasting a great, gory 
hole in the top of her forehead that splashed blood and brain matter 
onto the clean, white wall. Maria slumped over her experiment as 
Hanna watched, her manic gaze transfixed by the life that she had 
just taken. The sudden rush of adrenaline make Hanna's knees tremble 
as she lowered her hand, the gun smoking in her fingers. 
     
     She didn't even register the guilt, or the fear, or the pangs of 
conscience that she should have just persuaded the girl to help her. 
She had no time for that now. She ignored the tingle in her hand that 
firing the weapon had put into it and slipped the thing into her 
waistband again. It was warm against the cloth, but all that Hanna 
worried about was the experiment that clattered to the ground as 
Maria slumped lifelessly to the floor, bringing the samples and 
equipment with her.
     
     That wasn't the prize though. Hanna saw it as she scanned the 
papers that littered the countertop for some sort of instruction on 
how to work this magic Maria had boasted of. Lying in a petri dish 
sat the green, shining oval, looking like a miniature, almost 
luminescent emerald egg. Its surface was carved, the angles 
reflecting the light as if it was made of glass, but when Hanna took 
it between her fingers it felt soft to the touch. She squeezed it 
slightly, feeling it give, and realised that it was some kind o